Who knows

I ran today.  The last four or five times, I walked.  I have an issue with my calves hardening up a quarter-mile to a mile into the run since sophomore year in high school.  It’s ridiculous and it used to infuriate me.  Stupid calves won’t let me do what I want at the speed that I want.

Thankfully, it’s not consistent.  It eventually goes away.  Up until today, it plagued my mornings.  I sound super bitter but really during my walks I have a superrrrr good time with Jesus hahaha.  Anyway, so today was beautiful, the sky, sun, air, everything.  And my legs were cooperating.

And I realized: who the heck knows?  Who the heck knows what’s gonna happen?  Who knows how anything will turn out, how the cookie will crumble?

I didn’t.  During my period of walking, I wondered if this was it.  If I could no longer run, no longer take the streets in stride, unwomanly sweating and pounding heartbeat.  Would I forever be destined to walk my runs?  This is probably not a big deal to you hahah but running to me is like fishing to some guys, shopping to some girls, chocolate to my mom, basketball to my brother… it’s more than a hobby, tis a huge part of my heart and life.  And to think that my bulging calves would prevent me from it… blast.

That would have really sucked.  And that could totally be possible.

But it’s not.  Ya know what I means??  Who the heck knew?  Who the heck knows?

Tomorrow my calves might stiff me again.  Or they might not.

So I will enjoy today.  Wherever I am, whatever I do, however I run, this is it.  I will breathe this air and take this moment to say, Jesus, you can do whatever you want with me, in running, in school, with family and friends, in church, in my heart.  Anything and everything.

I just don’t know but I know you.

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