Barely

I am at this place where…

it’s hard for me to be in the same room as my brother and my mom.  Never had that happen before.  Usually it’s one or the other.  Today, it’s both.

I have nothing to give them.  No grace, no love, no nothing.

Please don’t talk to me.  Please don’t look at me.  As soon as I’m done writing this I’m off to my room.  I’m sick of being miserable just by being near you.

If I don’t go to bed, I’m going to break something.

Goodnight.

P.s. I do realize how much I’ve grown.  I don’t have the fight in me to verbalize the frustration mounted in me.  It’s just there.  I can only listen and stare and wait watching myself let the moment pass.  Interesting.