After dropping off my brother at school, I’m stopped at a red light to make a left turn toward home.  In front of me is a white mini-van and from the right side-view mirror, I can see the driver’s face.  Yes, I am being creepy.  It is so expressionless that it takes me a while to determine that it is a middle-aged woman of Asian descent.  The mouth never moves to speak and even at rest, it doesn’t look happy.

Soon after, a car pulls to a stop behind me, another mini-van.  I proceed with my creeper antics and study the newly-arrived driver through my rear-view mirror.  Another middle-aged Asian woman.  Due to the wide view  of rear-view mirrors, I am able to observe the presence of a child in the backseat, a girl probably in the third grade.  She reaches for something in the front and the driver reaches for and hands back the desired item with the motions of a robot.  The only indicator of the humanness of the driver is when she yawns.

It suddenly dawns on me: I am sandwiched by the prospects of my future.  Oh God.

A life of repetition, routine, duty.

I cannot imagine living a life different from the one I’m living right this moment with all the good stuff.  But I also cannot deny the possibility of me unknowingly transforming into an ajoomah, devoid of emotion and volition.  I am totally blowing this out of proportion, by the way hahah.  But just the thought… It sort of scares me.

And the mini-van…

Hahaha.  Seriously though, I don’t want the mini-van.  If it’s absolutely necessary… I hope my husband has mercy on me.  Ha!

I’m excited for the future.  Hahah I really want to see what it’s going to be.  I like not knowing.  My speculations on this beautiful morning adds to the anticipation, strangely.

Happy Monday!



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