After dropping off my brother at school, I’m stopped at a red light to make a left turn toward home. In front of me is a white mini-van and from the right side-view mirror, I can see the driver’s face. Yes, I am being creepy. It is so expressionless that it takes me a while to determine that it is a middle-aged woman of Asian descent. The mouth never moves to speak and even at rest, it doesn’t look happy.
Soon after, a car pulls to a stop behind me, another mini-van. I proceed with my creeper antics and study the newly-arrived driver through my rear-view mirror. Another middle-aged Asian woman. Due to the wide view of rear-view mirrors, I am able to observe the presence of a child in the backseat, a girl probably in the third grade. She reaches for something in the front and the driver reaches for and hands back the desired item with the motions of a robot. The only indicator of the humanness of the driver is when she yawns.
It suddenly dawns on me: I am sandwiched by the prospects of my future. Oh God.
A life of repetition, routine, duty.
I cannot imagine living a life different from the one I’m living right this moment with all the good stuff. But I also cannot deny the possibility of me unknowingly transforming into an ajoomah, devoid of emotion and volition. I am totally blowing this out of proportion, by the way hahah. But just the thought… It sort of scares me.
And the mini-van…
Hahaha. Seriously though, I don’t want the mini-van. If it’s absolutely necessary… I hope my husband has mercy on me. Ha!
I’m excited for the future. Hahah I really want to see what it’s going to be. I like not knowing. My speculations on this beautiful morning adds to the anticipation, strangely.