Shall we?

For three weeks, from the 7th to the 28th, I am fasting with my church ministry.  People are fasting various things like meat, bread, media and so on.  I had chosen to fast Facebook, Tumblr and shopping (I actually don’t shop a lot, but lately I’d been preoccupied with buying girly stuff like skin care and makeup and blahblahblah) because at the moment I like food.

The first Sunday morning of the three weeks came around and I was aware that twenty steps from my door, an LA Times Sunday edition was waiting for me… and inside was my Sunday crossword.  But something in me… it wasn’t a suggestion or command or law or nudge or push or anything.  Just something in my heart let go of the crossword.  No coaxing, no persuasion.  So easy.  No crossword for 3 weeks.

Then today, I clipped my nails and found myself looking back at my naked nails again and again and again and again and again.  Annoying.  I wanted to paint my nails but… no.  I like my nails in their natural state but I also always want to paint them, just for fun and time-killing’s sake.  But it’s no fun when I’m looking back at them seven times a minute and indecisive about which color to paint on.  So starting today, they are to remain naked (at least) until the 28th.

Also today, I realized how much I want to write well, to articulate my thoughts clearly, purposefully and even entertainingly.  So for the remainder of the fast, I am going to write an entry a day.  Some might be short because I’m barely trying to get one in for the day but the point is that I squeeze something, anything out from within my brain and heart.  This will be interesting.  At least for me.  Here we go.

I guess the last thing I want to say is, why?  What’s the reason behind this?  I’m not sure.  These don’t do me harm and I’m not really broken by the things I’m giving up (except the freaking crossword on the days when I’m exceptionally busy).  They don’t impede me from doing what I gotta do when I gotta do it.  It’s… I just want to do it.  My heart agrees with my mind agrees with my spirit agrees with my body (hahah).  I’m not trying to get anything out of this.  I have everything I want and I want everything I have.  Just sometimes I think we all need a little spice in our lives.  Hahahaha.  My spice is probably not as spicy as others’.  Only God can judge me hahah.

My question for the last day will be: what did you learn about yourself?  And: will you continue any of the elements of the fast after the 28th?

Cool beans.  Let the blessing commence.

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I'm here to be me because I think I'm pretty cool. Walk with me as I explore myself, the world, and everything in between. I also curse a lot.

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