Piggybacking off my entry two days ago, I realized something that branched off from the thought: assumptions are dangerous and useless.
My initial experience was an earthly one. There were certain things from my work that instilled in me the importance of letting things be, working them out through time and communication, rather than shooting off my own fears and calculations.
Yesterday, I found myself passing home and heading toward church feeling the need to pray; I felt like I was failing. I wanted to hash things out, get things in the clear now. I didn’t know if it’d be open but I was desperate enough to kick it in the parking lot. Kinda shady but whatevs.
On the way there, my heart was exposed and I saw that my uneasiness was fueled mostly by… assumptions. Hahah I had assumed certain things about my Jesus, assumed he felt a certain way about me… but if asked, I couldn’t say that was for sure. I felt God was laughing at me for my sincere pursuit for something that was really not that necessary.
Just let things be the way they are, let me take care of you. My heart is forever yours to explore and know. I will never withhold anything from you.
To which I promptly replied with a U-turn back toward home.
I’m done with assumptions, and by that I mean, I want to be done with them. I might still operate off unfounded ideas and notions but it’s a process and a constant surrender.
Okay Dad, you win. Again.