Summer

This summer has been beautiful. I’ve learned many things, things that I will sit down and properly process and explain. Later.

But one simple thing I’ve walked away with this summer is,

Life is crazy. Fucking crazy.

I don’t mean it in an offensive way. I’m not really sure how else to convey it. The vastness, the depth… it’s something I never anticipated. And plunging into it… really plunging into it… is nuts.

I feel like I’ve walked away from so many things, things I imagined were written in stone and absolutely true. I’ve lost control of… me haha. It scared me, but I’ve ventured, journeyed past that fear and come to this place of full acceptance and peace. Because my peace lies not in knowing, understanding, having it together. But rather, in the chaos of life that is so intricately held together… so perfectly. Lol. The more I lose myself, the more I find… me. Haha.

And always, at the end of the day, everyday, I’m always led to my place with Jesus. A place that remains untouched, unhindered, untainted. It’s so simple. I am weak, a child, needy. And he meets me in that place. And there I am held together. Not by who I am or what I’ve done. No, none of these earthly things would suffice. I’m simply held together by grace, by love.

I don’t know who I’ve become, or how far I’ve come but I like where I am. I like it. Haha. I embrace, welcome, and enjoy it. And this, I learned, is something no one can sway. This is me.

Here I am, 25 years old, 5 or 6 years into walking with my Jesus… and I’m the future Grace past Grace never expected… or wanted. Hahaha. Life is crazy, like I said.

Happy Tuesday.