I feel alive. Very much alive.
I feel like I’m moving. Not sure where or how. But I feel… fresh. Hahaha. By that, I mean not stagnant, or stale. Blech.
I feel like my life will amount to something. Somehow, someway.
And so, I can enjoy this moment. The today, the present, because it’s all pointing into the future. I’m not afraid like I used to be. I’m not hesitant like before.
I realized, what happens, happens and what will happen… will happen. What an epiphany. Lol. I realized all I can do… is keep going. Full faith, open mind, bloody beating heart. Lolll. Sounds morbid hahah. I learned life isn’t pretty. No, it’s beautiful.
Beauty encompasses the free flow, good and crappy, up and down. Beauty found only at the top is lonely, empty. Then, it’s just pretty, something nice to look at, imagine, wish for. Pretty just doesn’t cut it, does it? It just leaves you emptier because where it once was, where you once thought it was everything, it really isn’t, and that makes it emptier than when it was empty. Haha. Don’t worry I’m going to bed soon.
Beauty is life unleashed, imperfection faced, acknowledged, and embraced. Beauty is craziness in its own right. Beauty is everything jumbled up… only to be discovered in perfect symphony at second glance. Beauty is brokenness. Beauty is wholeness.
Anyway. Excuse the crazy talk lol. It’s not even that late. 10:48pm. Time for bed. Have so much stuff to do, I’m excited. Nothing really exciting, just scholarship stuff, homework, etc. But it’s exhilarating to know that my today affects my tomorrow… my forever. Lol.