Every day, in the semi-conscious state residing between sleep and awakeful…ness… is that even a word lol. Anyway, in that state of semi-consciousness, I’ve found myself being… grateful somehow, for some reason. Right as I wake up, I feel flooded with gratitude for… life. For everything in its own right. There is no particular reason, nothing particular special happening each day. Yet without fail, it’s there. And that alone makes the day everything it’s meant to be. I appreciate it so much because it’s not something I’m working on or trying to do. On my way to waking up, it’s like my heart is inclined toward gratitude. I just run with it.
And throughout the day, it’s the same. On the drive to work, at work, during lunch, during bathroom breaks, during the walk to my car, the drive back home, at home with the family, doing homework, writing, reading, literally every moment. I can’t escape it. Do I want to? There is too much to be grateful for. Too much. It hurts not to give credit where it’s due. This post isn’t about religion or a “good way” to live. It’s just one person’s heart and faith and the one her faith and heart are in.
I was talking to a friend about this and I tried to explain it. I almost said it makes a difference in our lives but I couldn’t. Because it doesn’t. To me, it transforms the way we live. It opens doors to our hearts that would otherwise remain locked under the perception of all the lack and shortcomings in ourselves. It opens doors in our relationships that would otherwise be hidden behind the wall of dissatisfaction and selfishness. There is something about gratitude that is freeing and freedom. Lol does that even make sense? There’s something about gratitude that puts a skip in my step, lifts my chin a little higher, allows me to see further than what “really” is.
As much as an objective reality exists, I have to give credit to the power of my own perception and ability to create my own reality to keep going and get to where I want to be, where I belong. It’s an X-factor that science and logic cannot define, imitate, nor understand. It just is.
This is the way I want to live. Whatever I have, whatever I don’t have, whatever is, whatever isn’t. Because this is my portion. And for that, I’m grateful. Of course, by no means does this mean I’m complacent about where I am. No. I am still hungry, still striving and hurting, in a good way, for more. But it’s where I start, where every day begins – and where every day ends.
Because as I fall asleep every night… the flood continues. And I realize I’ve just been swimming in it all day. So I close my eyes and let go of the day, now my past, in peace, knowing another full day awaits on the other side of rest.
Being grateful is a gift. And I’m greedy for it.
Jesus, it’s you and me. Every time, all the time. Thanks.
Have you had enough of this cheesiness?!?! Hahaha I have.