When you’re going up a hill on an Icelandic pony and you’re about to jump over a little stream, you must completely believe in the horse and fate. Because if you show fear, you’ll spook the horse and the horse may stumble. It’s not being reckless. It’s being unfettered by doubt. That’s my definition of trust.
- Patti Smith, as told to Esquire Magazine
My friend gets a lot of magazines in the mail. She doesn’t know where they come from. She’s tried cancelling but they just keep coming. She never reads them. Esquire is one of them. And I, being an awesome friend, take them off her hands every now and then for my own reading pleasure. Okay, given that Esquire targets men and thus includes very super raunchy sections – like super raunchy lol – I can’t really say it’s for my own reading pleasure, but it is definitely interesting in its own right. And there’s some good writing in there.
Anyway. I read this little section interviewing Patti Smith, a rock band musician, on knowledge and wisdom she gained through the years. I really liked the entire page but this one part stuck out to me.
Basically, I want to knock out hesitation in my life. I’m not saying let’s be impulsive like 14 year-olds. And I’m not saying let’s suppress the fear. I’m saying I’ve reached a point where the fear and hesitation has almost become second nature. I feel like I’m always on the defensive, watching my back, certain that something is going to disrupt the peace and momentum I have at the moment.
I’m saying I want to be aware that I am awesome in my own right lol. And even greater than that is that I am not alone. I want to pursue what’s mine and not apologize if I step on a few – or several – toes. I want to be fearless and know that what will happen will happen. And it will happen in the way it’s supposed to happen, the best way, when I operate out of boldness. Sounds so cheesy. Lol. But isn’t it beautiful what she said:
It’s not being reckless. It’s being unfettered by doubt.
I want to be unfettered by doubt. Lol wait a sec – am I saying I want to be this Icelandic pony?? Hahah didn’t think that one through. I guess in a way, yes, but moreso, I want to trust fate, the universe, God and allow myself to be – just be so what is going to happen will happen in utmost freedom and empowerment. I don’t know why I present myself so confident to my close friends and then let my voice trail off in timidity when speaking to coworkers and higher-ups at work. I don’t know where this comes from and maybe I don’t need to know. I’m cool with that. I just want to be unfettered by doubt, doubt in myself and doubt in my path and journey.
There’s so much that comes with that but that’s for another entry perhaps.
There’s so much I want to do in this life. I don’t want to miss out. Do you?