Right now

I am not the most well-informed person regarding world or local events and I don’t actively seek out information as much as I would like to.

Man. I don’t know why but the stuff I’ve read about Paris this morning… I’m heartbroken. Honestly, I can’t tell you the exact emotions or rationale for the tears that came earlier. I couldn’t finish my workout – there was too much heaviness. Push myself another rep – for what?

I imagine there is immense pain, fear, sense of loss, chaos across the Atlantic. I imagine grief beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. I imagine loss of innocence.

I imagine there may some sense of triumph on other side of the events. I imagine a sense of accomplishment, valor in living out full-bodied conviction.

This world is so big. This world is so complex. There is so much going on. I read articles on articles on articles discussing all sorts of ideas and information around the subject. I don’t know what’s real, what to hold onto, what to believe. There are so many perspectives and approaches.

I really don’t understand why I feel the way I do – I’m normally unfazed. I think when I cried I simply felt grief. There was no room for anger or desire for justice. Just grief. Loss. The gravity of life, its momentary essence that reveals the fragility of every single person, soul, heart.

I don’t know. I simply ask for comfort in the lives of those who face loss and fear in their home. I ask for a sense of peace on those who feel the world is falling apart, or already has. I ask for grace on those who have hurt and are hurting in their own way.

This is the way of the world. We need visionary leaders with wisdom and a hunger for good and peace. We need change in the everyday, in the mundane. We need culture that fosters not only tolerance but embrace. We have much work to do but we are equipped for it.

This has been all over my mind. I can’t shake it. We need to start somewhere.