A great weight

A great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe again and live. I lived in oppression the past few weeks, constantly ruminating and worrying – but no more.

My dad wants cash to buy hiking pants.

My mom wants a giftcard.


A great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Two weights, to be exact. I don’t have to face the parking lot hair-pulling insanity, the long lines from hell, and the sickly warm body heat of the multitudes mulling around looking for that illusion of a perfect gift.

I am a horrible gift-giver, if you couldn’t pick that up. It just doesn’t… move me. The act of giving a gift because it’s a season… Nah. Plus, all that money. To give a legit gift costs legit sums of money. And since I don’t have legit sums of money, I can’t give legit gifts. And I don’t like that. I like to spend good money on good things that people will use for real. Not meaningless products for the sake of a holiday. Lol, am I the Grinch reincarnated or what?!

And then you pay with your time and patience and emotional and mental energy unless you’re the super savvy shopper who knows what everyone wants and buys everything a month before on Amazon. Like my brother. Ugh. How does he do this?!?! He has our gifts ready by November, latest. Amazes me. Given that they’re not always what I would want to buy for myself, still amazing that he doesn’t fumble with it or hesitate. I admire you, Brother. And here I am, asking my parents what they want four days before.

Instead, I find it much more economical and sensible to write cards. They’re five bucks a pack of 10 at TJ Maxx or Marshalls, stamps are lying around the house somewhere, I always have pens, and I have a lot to say to those I love. I write down a list of these people and I go down the list during the waiting times of life, in the morning, when I’m bored. And then I deliver them. Except one, I mailed out… without a stamp. Lol. Oops. I only realized it after I closed the slot. Of course.

Anyway. Thank you Jesus and thank you parents for appreciating the value of cash money and not holiday sentiment from your first-born. And thank you for raising me. Hahah.

Happpppppyyyy Mondayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

P.S. I’m not opposed to giving gifts – if the gift makes sense, then I’m all for it. The brother’s been looking at cameras for months and wanted a camera so my mom and I are pitching in to get him one. That’s a legit gift in my book. Plus I don’t have to do any shopping, haggling, or cursing at the person in front of me. That’s called winning, holiday winning.

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Walking my journey, evolving endlessly into the Me I came to Be.

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