Stuff

I ran into someone the other day, an acquaintance. We did the small talk and she asked me what I was up to these days. I answered that I’m working, chilling, and generally figuring stuff out. In a non-malicious way, she replied saying I said that answer last year too, the figuring stuff out part. I laughed and we continued the conversation until her boba came out.

Weeks later, that conversation stuck with me, the figuring stuff out part. To be honest, that kind of hurt – not a personal hurt from her as a person, but just a personal wound in that – am I really not getting anywhere, becoming the person I want to be?

And I realized, even if I am figuring stuff out, the stuff is different this year. I definitely, most definitely have grown and developed a new sense of purpose and direction. I have most definitely become wiser and stronger and more resourceful. I have learned to be bold and confident in myself, to trust myself and my decisions and the universe. I have learned to communicate better with all kinds of people. There is nothing that has remained the same, except the desire to grow and… figure stuff out.

They are the same words, but I know the person saying it today is not the same as the person who had said it. That understanding is integral to growth, the self-grace and appreciation for what’s happened. The acknowledgement of sweat and tears and hard work into myself. They were not for nothing and more than anyone else, I need to recognize that.

To be honest, I’m very proud to have come my way, to be a person of integrity, faith, diligence, excitement for life, wisdom. And next year, I look forward to the new stuff I’ll be figuring out.

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