It’s been a flurry of Facebook and WordPress activity the past couple days. My blog feels so special with all this attention. I take it with a grain of salt. I don’t expect it to last because I think that specific post, that specific action I took spoke to the heart and soul of so many people.
It’s crazy how many people reached out via private message, email, and text congratulating me, wishing me the best, divulging they wish they had the courage to do what I did. Okay not that many but enough to surprise me. Which is not saying much anyway hahah.
Aside from all the social media fun, this week has been too crazy – in a good way.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed taking charge of my hours, knowing I’m accountable to myself. I’ve been able to catch up on almost all of the online copywriting course and write more. There’s still so much to do and I could have been more productive but I’m enjoying it all anyway.
I feel empowered to make my day count and everything I do, I do with relish and lightheartedness. I understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. I get what it will mean to me when a task is accomplished and what I can expect to do after. Things make sense.
I feel alive and excited to go to “work”. I have so much to learn still… and I’m open to everything.
A part of me hesitates to share my excitement and joy because of the fear of returning with a blog post with my tail between my legs when I start struggling financially. Yes, that’s a real thing. It makes me feel super vulnerable to say it but whether I do or not, it’s still there.
A common theme I keep hearing from people is the money will follow. That money comes and goes. That money is replaceable.
I really like how Tony Robbins says it:
Wealth is a product of the mind.
Sounds super abstract, right? Like what the hell does that mean? Can we quantify that? Lol.
We can’t. But somehow, it makes sense. I’ve grown up counting my dollar bills and change. Whatever I had, that was my wealth and my value.
But as I get a little older and quite possibly and hopefully a tad bit wiser, I think it’s much deeper than that. Wealth is not the number in my bank account. It’s the openness and generosity with which I engage the world.
It’s the flow of energy, someone – I can’t remember who – once said. I’m beginning to see that. When we attribute wealth and prosperity to numbers, which are finite and concrete, that’s what we get. We are enslaved to the numbers. We work for the numbers.
But when we accept that we have something valuable to contribute to the world, something that we provide freely and generously, it returns in different ways, whether in depth in relationships, new connections, opportunities, or – yes – monetary gain.
I’m tired of living this life in the finite mindset of wealth. I’m tired of counting my dollars and change. I’m tired of equating my wealth to what I have and don’t have.
I’m ready to unleash my contribution, whatever it is, and see what happens. I want to do it freely, without worrying what the returning transaction amounts to. I want to do it fearlessly, knowing the universe/God knows my needs and wants, and I’m ultimately taken care of. Sounds kooky, I know. Sounds a little weird, yeah. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it.
I think when we put out something really Good and Honest and Real into the world from our hearts, it’s reciprocated right back to us. Our vulnerability and creativity is powerful and renders a corresponding response.
I don’t know where this is coming from, to be honest lol. I think it’s just because money is on my mind a little and I’m letting go. I’m letting go of the fear I’ve always associated with money, that I don’t have enough, and that I’ll never have enough. I’m letting go of the worry that accompanies me when I check my bank account or have to Venmo a friend or have to pay the water bill or get a parking ticket.
It’s not that they won’t happen if I don’t worry. It’s that they’re going to happen anyway. It’s the decision to perceive them as they are and not as ominous creatures lurking to steal my security. It’s the decision to reach within and draw out the goodness and purpose without calculating. It’s really just faith, faith that the universe is just.
It’s late. I honestly wish I would get even half the eyes on this as my previous post got. I don’t know how to put out viral content (not that my previous post went viral lol). I just know how to write what I know. And right now, this is what I know.
It’s scary for me to click Publish, but I know, it must be done lol. There is no other way. I can’t hide from the things that scare me anymore. No more tip-toeing and shushing. Not because I’m trying to prove anything. But because if I can’t do this, what do I have to offer this world?