The sky is calling but

Armed with my backpack, heavy with my laptop, notebooks, and books, I head to my car, and ultimately to a cafe to get work done.

I slide into the driver’s seat, start the car, and connect my music. The clouds are white and fluffy, the blue of the sky so tempting, the music so perfect… for a drive.

The temptation is real, folks. For some, it’s sugar, carbs, and alcohol. For me, it’s the wide open sky and the idea of being near the beach that drive me crazy. For me, it’s the speed of the freeway (unless it’s rush hour lol) and maneuvering, that gives me a sense of control and peace. Maybe I’m channeling my desire to feel in control?

In these moments, all I want to do is drive. And drive and drive and drive. Not to get away, not to get somewhere. But for the drive itself.

So, what did I do?

I audibly told myself, It’s also a perfect time to get my shit done.

So I headed to the cafe and now I’m here writing about what could have been… Hahaha.

What I really want to say is, I feel like I have full choice of either going for a drive or working on my stuff, writing, and whatnot. Neither is wrong, neither is better. But I decided, against everything in my freaking heart and soul, that I would rather sit my ass down and grind out what I had promised to a good friend and, ultimately, to myself.

As much as I love the feeling of being in the driver’s seat, I’ve been feeling also very hungry to be even more a person of my word, even more reliable and consistent, even more zealous for my craft, and even more interested in executing my commitment.

I feel… empowered in a different way. I feel the rush in a different way. It’s more of a mental rush, I’d say. It’s not always easy, and I’ve many times made the decision to go with the drive – or whatever else came up that was easier to go with then actually putting in work. It’s a good feeling consciously moving toward something and being okay with delayed gratification. Just like nothing can replace the goodness and openness of the sky and road, there’s nothing that compares with diligence, purpose, and execution of thought and desire.

Anyway. I have to get crackin.

Happy Wednesday.

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Walking my journey, evolving endlessly into the Me I came to Be.

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