I listened and it was perfect – 47/100

On the way back from therapy, I ask myself what I’m going to do the rest of the day. Our session was earlier than usual so I had a few hours of the remaining morning and the afternoon to myself.

Immediately, the answer I got back – San Diego.

Hmm. Okay. I decide yes. I’m down. I head home, the way I was going anyway, to pack some food and a jacket.

Then I’m off, back to the same freeway entrance that I left earlier for therapy. I have my windows down, music playing, the sun on my left arm which sticks out with my hand open and reaching for wind.

I feel solid. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I’m just listening to the voice. San Diego.

Okay, I can do that. Well, at first, I ponder hitting up Oceanside instead, since it’s closer. But I figure, if it was supposed to be Oceanside, I would have heard Oceanside lol.

Sweet, so I feel set.

But I guess a lot of other people have San Diego (or probably Mexico) on their minds. Because there’s a shit ton of traffic. About 2.5 hours worth. And still I don’t budge. I just keep dancing and singing and driving.

As I near San Diego, I suddenly ask myself, where the hell am I going exactly? Hahah. I open Yelp and the first thing that pops into my mind is – I want a drink and I want an ocean view. A rooftop bar.

I Yelp rooftop bar and the first one I click on has exactly what I want. I can see myself there. Got it.

I get to the area and… I can tell it’s the touristy part of San Diego I never explored. There are a million and one cars and not enough parking spots. I skip the parking lot initially and head down the residential area. No luck.

I head back to the parking lot and it doesn’t seem promising. Too much demand. No supply. But I go in – I made it this far, right?

I’m still listening to music and chilling. It is what it is. If I don’t find a spot, I’m cool with heading back up. The drive was enough. I decide I’ll make one full circle and then leave. Something tells me to go down the second to last aisle, so I do.

Bam, I see someone slip into his car… and leave. Mine, all mine. That felt so damn good.

I walk through the lot, head up the stairs, and get myself the best seat at the bar. I’m right in between the bar and the ocean. I’m immediately greeted by a server and the bartender.

It’s good vibes all around. The bartender seems to take an interest in me and we strike up a conversation. And it almost feels like I came down to SD for this conversation, for this moment of connection with this human being.

He talks a little about his history, where he’s been, how he chooses to live and work. He seems very self-aware of himself and his place in the world, that he is part of something greater. And it is so good to hear. He seems so in touch with himself. I loved it.

We chatted the whole time – the only downside was, I had to be back in town by 6 and the drive was another 2 hours up the 5 freeway. We exchanged phone numbers and became Facebook friends. I said my goodbye, and he came around the bar to give me a hug.

The drive up was more calm but so satisfying. I don’t know what the hell happened that my day included a trip to San Diego, but it was pretty much perfect. From the inception of the idea, the drive, the traffic, the shitshow of a parking situation, the drinks, the conversation, the weather, the view…

It was what I wanted. It was what I needed. It’s almost as if the universe knows.

6 thoughts on “I listened and it was perfect – 47/100”

  1. Oh my goodness Luana! That is awesome and so inspiring! I would love to connect! If you’re available via Skype or email (gracejkim3@gmail.com) I’d love to know more of your story! You are so courageous – I bet your story would inspire a lot of ppl! Even if you’re still figuring things out. And yes it is definitely lovely hearing another human being listen to her quiet voice 😊✌🏼

  2. You know, I moved to Germany in the beginning of March because I heard a voice just as you described it. Of course I thought about it a loooong time before actually making my mind (it was moving countries, culture, my entire life). Somehow, someone, (maybe) my inner Luana was telling me for months “have courage, get out of your comfort zone, do it!”. And here I am, trying to figure it out, trying to get to the bottom of who I am.

    It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one paying attention to that quiet and very important voice that come to us with such challenges 🙂

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