Life can be
An uphill battle
A maze…. or labyrinth
Life can seem
A pain in the ass
Full of fear
Somewhere along the way, I began to change my mindset about Life. Things changed. I began to think…
An individual experience
In yo’ face
(where did all these food adjectives come from haha)
Life is full of
Meeting of the minds
Laughter – endless laughter
Things have changed.
To say the least haha.
During the changing, shifting, transforming, I realize so deeply how much I received the reward of the journey by enjoying it – in every moment, in every encounter, every epiphany, every stumble, every rise.
I don’t know what’s ahead – or I have an idea and the shadows of the future can only be dispelled with progress – but looking back, I know it’s going to be nothing short of incredible. I just feel it. Because I never imagined I’d ever be this happy, this full, this empowered, this alive, excited, seen, loved.
It’s not one person. It’s not one experience. Not one encounter. Not one thing, relationship, or moment.
It’s the whole damn thing. The whole damn thing makes me explode inside. Even in those moments my vision is hazy, my morale is low, my willpower is fizzling out… I laugh inside because it’s all part of it. It’s all part of it. The weaknesses, the fear, the doubt, the work I choose to put in, the struggling with decisions… everything.
I wouldn’t move an inch forward without those moments. The fact that I have the ability to decide what to think, how to act, what to do, what to say – is everything. Because in those moments, I know I have the choice to laugh at it and keep moving, believing in myself, the universe, my God, my destiny – or relinquish my heart, soul, and mind to despair and loneliness.
I’ve done enough of that for too many years. It was high time for a change, no?
And I realize now – everything I need, everything I want is within. So close, yet I was so blind. I don’t blame my blindness. I accept my portion, my journey. It took me this long and that was the only way it could have gone. And that is okay. That is greater than okay. That is perfect. Just the way it is.
The reward is not being where I am. The reward is that I was present in every moment. That I am truly here now because I was there every time. I faced it, loved it, embraced it, and allowed it to become my blood, my air, my breath – me.
That is all.
Life is – everything I’d ever imagined it to be. And then some.