I have failed my 100 day challenge. 4 times to be exact.
And I honestly don’t care.
I know, I know, I’m supposed to keep my word. I posted up a video about this on Facebook and errythang.
But the purpose of the challenge is to get me writing. And that’s what I’m doing. I don’t want to treat it like a mercenary. I don’t want to stress about it.
Maybe I’m totally messing up the joojoo by disregarding it.
That’s totally possible.
Either way. I’m cool with where I am. I’m learning that the journey encompasses everything. Even my irreverence. And failure. Which is not really failure. Or I choose not to see it as failure.
I’m doing my best. I’m learning. I keep going. And that’s more than enough for me.
For those who read, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. For those who comment, I cannot tell you how much you touch me. For those who receive what I write, whether I’m aware of it or not, all my words, all my intentions are for you.
Writing is my way of connecting – first with myself, then with the reader. If I can reach someone, my job is done.
I write from the most honest part of me, I hold back nothing, and whatever I hold back, I process and work toward freeing myself. I leave no stone unturned. It’s not work to me. It’s life. And I get to document it.
It’s a privilege for me to be able to share, to be able to be seen. Whatever the reception, whatever the response, I write. I write for writing’s sake. I write for reflection’s sake. I write for my existence’s sake. I write to live.
Even when I skip a day – or two. I keep writing. I know that much is important. It stresses me out sometimes. But I’m letting go. I’m giving myself space.
I’m understanding my nuances, my ticks, my flow. It’s not 100% clear to me how writing will play a part in my life. I’m not sure if I should be writing more inspirational posts. Or more narratives and stories. Or more “stream of consciousness” type of writing. That’s usually what I’m good at.
I don’t know which techniques I should employ, I don’t know what I should try. This is an experiment. I just do my best every day. And as long as I’m enjoying it, there’s nothing more I can ask for.
This challenge is about staying true to me. Well, it’s more about putting structure around staying true to me haha. I’m figuring it out as I go. As you can tell. From the 4 missed days. And possibly more.
I feel like I cheated hahaha this blog post is about my blog posting. Have I run out of things to write about? Possibly. And now… I’m trying to fill up the remaining 18 words of this 500 word post.
Ultimately, I’m happy to be here. I’m happy I’ve reached 54 posts.