I was browsing through my old notes in my iPhone and came across this. I remember typing this furiously right before flying out to a client after my week in Orlando to participate in the craziness that is the Dopey Challenge. I don’t know why I wrote this out but I did. I don’t think I intended to share it but here I am. I wanted to share because I see now, the desire to open up my home that is my heart and soul to everyone has been active this entire year.
Will the real Grace please stand up?
I feel like I’ve yet to step out of my shell. No that’s inaccurate. I feel like I’ve yet to explode out of my shell.
I feel like there’s a Grace that I know that the world does not. My close friends have seen and know. But everywhere else in the world, they see the presentable Grace. Not to say that I’m this wholly reserved and proper human being. If you know me even just a little, you probably laughed at that.
I do feel I’ve yet to be fully FREE and ALIVE the way I am when I’m with family and friends. Hahaha. Just all of me. The craziness, the outbursts, the yelling, excitement, uncontrollable laughter, the openness, the dancing, the questions, commentary – usually unnecessary and probably inappropriate and ill-timed.
It’s kind of exciting. To think that as good as it is now, as happy as I am now, there’s so much more. More than I can imagine. I have more to be honest about, more to be unafraid about. I have more within to share. To contribute even, to anyone willing to hear and receive haha.
And I know what it takes. It’s a simple decision. Every opportunity I get to do what I want, what comes from my heart, I get to choose. Do I want to smile at the man that anyone could easily tag as creepy and a giver of unwanted attention? Sure. Why judge to start off? And I’m good at smiling. Do I want to dance a little with the music coming from the public speakers? Why else did they install the damn things? Do I want to write a thank you note to my server on the receipt? Why not?
I think that’s the anthem of the moment: Why Not?
Too many of my decisions are made based on Why? I always need to give a valid reason for doing something. It’s gotta be calculated, just a little.
But why? Hahaha. Fight fire with fire. Why must everything need rhyme and reason? Why not just be human? Why not be arbitrary. Give an innocent shrug of the shoulders when asked Why? Because… why not?
I like that. Hahah. Gives way to infinity. Gives way to know the unknown. I like I like!
I’ma just do me. I’ma just do my happy, my free, my idea of Goodness. I think I’ve been doing more of it. More doing, more being, less thinking. You should try it.