If I lived every day thinking my day was a series of fortunes and misfortunes, right turns and wrong turns, then my life amounts to the accumulation of chance and accidents. If I cannot own my life – past, present, and future – I deny myself my birthright to my own destiny. By judging my path, I forego the depth and richness of journeying.
Right now, I’ve never been happier, never been more excited, fearless, and empowered in my life. I agree with everything and everyone that exists in my life and I rest knowing that those things that aren’t aligned are and will be processed and released as I go.
There is truly no place I’d rather be then here, now.
Interestingly, when I look at back in my life, I don’t feel what I feel about the present. I feel a sense of dullness, as if there were things I could have avoided, that I should have known better, that I could have done more.
I wouldn’t call them regrets. Just pockets of history I remember with wishfulness that I was had been more ______________________.
As I sat in my silence today, I reflected on the perfection that is my today. Like I said, today feels so damn good. So. damn. good.
And in order for me to truly know that goodness and be grateful for it, I realized I had to deeply acknowledge and embrace everything, every moment, every thought, every person, every action, every decision, every part of my being that traversed thus far.
I had to.
Because of things hadn’t gone the way they had, as much as I cringe at the wastefulness of time, energy, and resources, I simply wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be able to experience my today the way I am right now.
It would be impossible to love my today and disown my yesterday, or even a nanosecond of yesterday. It would be impossible to disown my yesterday and expect a full, free, exciting, perfect tomorrow, my destiny.
It just wouldn’t work.
This is going to be a really bad example but whatever! It would be like Thomas Edison reveling in his genius in creating the lightbulb* and despising even one of this 10,000 mistakes that led up to it.
It wouldn’t make sense. Those mistakes, those dead-ends, those wtf moments had to happen.
And now, when we look at his work, we celebrate his mistakes, we honor his dedication, and we recognize his life. The 10,000 are part of the one.
So every wrong turn, every misjudgment, every moment that I didn’t do what I wish I’d done – is not the wrong turn, the misjudgment, the failure that I’ve always considered it. I did the best I could. The best back then and the best today are universes apart, but I have no grounds to judge my past best.
And if that’s the case, then I can do no wrong. I can only move forward, learning, growing, evolving purposefully, owning all of me, all of my journey – every. single. freaking. step.
I am so fully present, so fully immersed in the today that I know now that I will never truly experience all that was meant for me today if I negate the yesterday that brought me here. After all, it’s my today that will become my yesterday and usher in my tomorrow.
So – I can do no wrong. So am I.
And so can you. So are you.
What, if anything are you struggling to embrace from your past? What regrets run through your mind regularly? Where do you feel “not enough” today?
* For the sake of this example, I wrote Thomas Edison… but I heard it was another dude that invented it – Nikola Tesla. Just wanted to clear that up.