Protect my turf – 71/100

Photo by Meiying Ng on Unsplash
Photo by Meiying Ng on Unsplash

Every day, I splurge on myself. I give myself gifts all the time.

There are fewer things I’ve done to show myself love than these:

  • Turning off notifications for Gmail app on my phone
  • Removing iMessage (Apple’s text message app) from my dock
  • Refusing to respond to text messages until after 12pm
  • Not checking email until after 12pm
  • Turning on Do Not Disturb mode from 12am to 12pm every day

These gifts I give myself are expensive because it costs me discipline and focus.

They are priceless because they give me something money cannot buy – my time and my true attention.

To me, treating myself has less to do with doing or buying things and a lot more to do with creating space for me to feel the way I want to feel. It’s about allowing me to flow and thrive, and I’ve found I do that the most through giving myself time and space to be.

Nothing substitutes the sense that I exist for nothing else and for no one else but for this moment of being exactly me. Nothing feels as good as knowing that my focused attention on my being, my existence, and the present is my greatest purpose. It’s really not about doing, accomplishing, performing.

At least, not to me.

It’s so much more about who I am, who I’m becoming, where I choose to direct my attention. I’m still learning what all this means to me and it’s a very sweet and full lesson, every time.

Perhaps this sounds super self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish.

You’re right. It’s all of that.

Because without the self, I have nothing to give. Who am I? What are my intentions? What are the secrets of this soul? What are the movements of this heart? Where is my creativity leading me? Where is my passion guiding me?

Where I end up in life will be a direct result of who I am, how I perceive myself, and my decisions to act on that.

I don’t know about you, but I prefer to land somewhere I choose to land. Not land somewhere I happen to land.

And I know getting to that place, somewhere in the future, will take work and sweat and diligence. I know that. I just have to know why I want it, what the hell it means to me, and what I’m willing to do to get there.

Because without that, nothing matters. Nothing.

And so, I protect my space, my turf. I protect my quiet, my attention, my intention. I gift myself what I need to know and be me. Because no one can do that but my self.

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