Terrifyingly free Pt. 2 – 77/100

To continue yesterday’s post – what did the shift of my understanding of freedom do?

It gave back meaning to my day. It gave back meaning to me, the one that pursued this shenanigans in the first place.

And it was from there that I began to own it. And I’m still learning to. I’m creating my day the way I see fit. Because no, I don’t think I want to spend the first hours of my day responding to emails and “being productive”.

In fact, I get to redefine what “productive” means and it has far less to do with looking busy and typing away, and more to do with tapping into myself, dropping within to know me more, to know the secret wisdom and truth my heart and soul guard.

I know it doesn’t make sense to others. I know the way I do things isn’t the most popular, prescribed method. But then, they’re – whoever they are – aren’t trying to do what I’m doing. And vice versa.

I’m accepting that my way is my way. The way I choose to employ freedom, the way I choose to swim in the ocean, how far I choose to venture is all me. I don’t have to look like others.

Perhaps this is very elementary to be learning now. And that’s okay, right? Because this is my story. And in my story, right here, right now, I’m the one factor that matters. Nothing else. I choose what lessons I learn, I choose the people surrounding me, I choose my environment, I choose my internal state, I choose my beliefs, I choose my schedule.

And now, freedom – it’s looking a lot more like what I had envisioned sitting behind a laptop, eyes glazed over, facing a window with the blue blue sky calling my soul.

It’s looking a lot more friendly. It’s making a lot more sense.

It really just means I have permission to follow something unseen, something intangible, something within. It means no external beings, no external circumstances can decide for me which way I go. And that doesn’t mean I’m more powerful than unpreventable events and situations, but it does mean in the face of them, I acknowledge and claim the power and ability to move in the way see fit. It means I ascribe my beliefs, thoughts, and actions to wisdom and truth I won’t find in a book, a motivational speech, someone else’s path or instructions.

It is in this freedom, I do what every human being is created to do – create. Because although there’s nothing new under the sun, we, in our freedom to be who we are, we have the mandate to do what flows from within, disregarding what others say, think, and do. We have the mandate to powerfully create our lives and be accountable to ourselves. No explanations, no disclaimers, no caveats. Just full freedom.

That blows my mind. It’s a familiar feeling, almost like fear of the unknown… but now, understanding the essence of freedom, it’s feeling a lot more like excitement. A lot more like untamable indescribable energy and purpose. Because, with all this freedom, what will I be led to do? To create, write, manifest, build?

Endless. Like the sky that beckoned through the office window.

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