Beachy observations – 81/100

seagull
Photo by Nick Karvounis on Unsplash

I went to the beach yesterday and catalogued some thoughts, some things I observed, some randomness I gathered. Don’t expect to find a purpose to this blog post haha! Here we go.

– I saw a woman put on her long maxi skirt… bottom up. When she pulled it up, her calves were encircled by the tight waist elastic and her waist disappeared in the giant circumference of the skirt bottom. I have no idea if I explained that clearly hahaha but it was the funniest thing – made me laugh audibly for a few minutes. I wanted to thank her for a good laugh. I’m still laughing as I write this. I’m so easily amused.

– I saw a bi-plane (I think that’s what they’re called) fly low near the beach, right after I thought, I want to fly. I watched it turn and speed up and thought to myself, One day, that’s gonna be me. Hahah! There’s something exhilarating and freeing and fulfilling about it. When people ask me what my superpower would be, it’s flying. Always. Not teleportation – you miss the journey. Not speed – you miss the journey. I want to fly.

– From where I was sitting, I saw a couple parents with children pack up their stuff and leave. It took them some time to take down their umbrella, put away the towels, gather the children, and head out. I got up to leave about 15 minutes after they did. And before I got to the sidewalk, I saw them all there, still struggling to leave the beach. Their children ran wild, ran away, while the parents attempted to brush sand off their belongings and get their shit together. I reached the sidewalk, dropped my sandals on the ground, shuffled my feet into them, and walked away. I love my life. For all you parents out there – freaking kudos. Your kids may not thank you or give a shit about what you’re yelling at them about standing still for two seconds so you can leave but I thank you. I thank you for expending energy to bring your children to the water to play under the sun and experience the goodness of life. We all need it.

– There was this cute guy with a nice build throwing a football around with another guy that wasn’t as cute and had a dad-body. The cute guy had a frat-boy look, which is typically not my type or preference, but I’ve been working on not judging people based on their appearance so I unashamedly checked him out. Equal opportunity, I say! Well, I checked him out behind my sunglasses so I didn’t have to try too hard to be unashamed. Anyway, home boy was sucking at throwing the ball while the not-as-cute guy exhibited much better aim. I felt really bad for the other not-as-cute guy. His aim got so bad I could no longer watch from the pain. And the dad-body guy began to look more attractive. Goes to show – looks aren’t everything. Am I shallow or what?!?!

– A middle-aged man was passed out on his stomach on a towel. Looked like the nap of the century. I would have joined him. Except he would have gotten the wrong idea. I don’t like wrong ideas. I like correct ideas. At some point, he woke up and looked so confused. Then I saw – he had been targeted by a seagull in two places, right on his hairy tanned back. He reached around trying to wipe it off and he couldn’t quite get to them. He then headed to the ocean for cleansing. I felt bad because it’s one thing to laugh about a misfortune with a friend or stranger and another to endure it alone, laughlessly and self-conscious. When he came back out, he reached around to see if he got everything off. I wanted to tell him the ocean did its job. But then I would have to yell and I’d probably have to repeat it and then admit that I saw the seagull’s mess. So I just sat there. Was that cowardly of me? Or courteous? I don’t know. Seagulls are malicious.

Anddddd that’s it for my beachy observations. Thanks for reading!

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