I’m in a place at this point in life where there’s a lot of doing. A lot of moving and getting stuff done.
This is also a place where I’m prone to go through the motions. To work and do and complete and reach out and strategize and… you know what I mean.
It’s a place where sometimes, the meaning of it all gets lost.
I have a daily practice of meditation and gratitude to get myself in the space of feeling abundant and full – so that I can continue to do more.
This week is my worst track record so far. I’ve been sleeping way late, between 2 and 4am. I’ve let go of the practice because I feel like I’m just trying to survive, to get by, and I’m giving myself space to sort of go with the flow.
I make it sound worse than it actually is haha. But I say all that to point out what I realized in my moment of letting go of the practice.
I realized that gratitude is an expression of abundance. Gratitude does not exist prior to abundance. It is an after-effect. It is the absolute purist symptom of the awareness of abundance. Essentially, gratitude speaks of our abundance.
When I’m grateful, what is that exactly? What does that mean? What does that feel like?
Being grateful, to me, is a state of being that arises when I look at what I have, who I am, where I’m at in this human experience. When I’m present in the moment, I become acutely aware of everything that is me, everything is my life.
And as I feel the blessedness that is my life, as I appreciate my health, as I acknowledge my wealth of relationships and connections, as I recognize my growth and progress as a human being, as I simply let myself be where I am in all its glory (I don’t know why that’s the word that comes up but I’ll go with it haha), I feel full, rich, strong, and loved.
There, in that space, the only appropriate response is to close my eyes, drink in the knowledge of this moment, and let the gratitude flow.
I don’t always equate gratitude with the words, “thank you”. Rather than words, gratitude is simply what is when I become aware of my current situation, the abundance I’m surrounded by. It is the embracing of the abundance, the dance of the soul with the universe that holds me.
The power of this awareness that leads to gratitude is not just in feeling good about myself, about trying to rise about situations that seem to be against me, about trying to downplay the things in my life that don’t seem to be working in my favor.
No, the power of that awareness and gratitude is that it holds life together. In the midst of happenings and arising of circumstances, in the flurry of activity and doing and moving, it is the container that holds me together in my quiet and safe space, where who I am is infinitely greater than what I do, where my existence in this universe is eternally more substantial than my contribution in this lifetime.
It’s a space where nothing can reach us because we are so magnetized by all that is. Living from this place ensures a life lived with no regrets or fear-based actions (which are essentially the source of regret). Living from this place guarantees a life of passion, profound presence, and purpose.
This week, I realized that gratitude isn’t a thing that we do – though I will continue to stick with my practice of it, since it does go the other way around too (expressing gratitude can remind us of our abundance). I realized that gratitude is actually the overflow of our natural and true state of our being.
It’s never to be forced or manufactured because it can’t be. It’s a simple acknowledgement and appreciation of what is. And then everything follows. Because in your state of abundance, nothing can be added nor taken away.