Some things don’t change (a year later) – 13/100

After my last post last night, I was going through my old notes on my laptop, deleting and moving things around to simplify. And I came across a note written exactly a year ago since yesterday. And it said, “My last day is in 4 days.” Pretty what I wrote yesterday about my one-year anniversary lol.

I don’t know why but that blows my mind… like something in my soul or heart or something knew, remembered where I was exactly a year ago. I don’t know. So interesting. Hahaha is it just me??? Yes, probably lol.

I wanted to share what I wrote a year ago. It’s an even better way to encapsulate what was going on in my life and heart around my path and journey. If you’re reading this, thank you! And let me know your thoughts, if any! Would love to hear.

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March 6th, 2017

It’s official. My “two weeks” are in. My last day is in 4 days.

I’m sitting somewhere in Downtown LA watching people walk around during their lunch breaks. They look normal, established. I’m here in my own world. Just biding my time before my last day at a great company but not the best for me.

I want to encapsulate what I’m feeling.

Peace. Excitement. Nervousness. Openness. Freedom.

And a healthy dose of fear. Not the crippling kind. The kind that moves you forward. The kind that walks hand in hand with curiosity. Or maybe it’s more curiosity than anything. To see what can be.

Taking that step is huge for me. I didn’t imagine myself leaving the company without something lined up. I know I’m pretty risk-adverse but I didn’t know I was this open to risk either.

I feel alive. I think that’s the best way to describe it. I feel alive because I have choices and I exercised one of them. I feel alive because I could think for myself. I feel alive because I experienced the range of emotions and phases of the process of getting here. I feel alive because I am. Lol. Sooooo deep hahaha.

It’s a good place to be. I’m excited to see what I will do with my time. How I will face and approach my fears, interests, desires. I really do think anything is possible. Anything.

I am the greatest factor. No. I am the factor. I am the movement, the passion, the purpose, the designer. I am everything I want to be. Everything.

Here’s to life. The craziness, the fullness, the perfection of the imperfection.

I don’t doubt the challenges ahead. But the obstacles don’t seem so much as obstacles. They seem like exercises more than anything. Exercises of resilience, resourcefulness, community, courage, boldness, writing – endless writing haha, faith, hope…

Let’s do this thing. Eyes wide open, heart and soul awakened.