Life is easier than I once thought.
More full of joy.
More infinite. Ha.
All that I’d once expected,
burn it all to the ground,
Watch everything that had once been carefully curated, cultivated, and contrived
Fear, loneliness, doubt, even hopelessness will come.
After all, everything I once knew no longer is.
There’s no turning back.
I’ve come this far, let go of too much to go back and retrieve the ashes of a past life.
Then, in the silence, the quiet, the stillness,
In the most subtle, indiscernible ways,
in the way you can’t even see, taste, hear, smell, and feel.
But it does.
It always does.
And when it does, it is the most glorious thing.
Sometimes I can only weep (and it’s not pretty).
Sometimes I can only breathe deep and get lost.
Sometimes I smile and laugh by myself.
All the time.
The road is lonely sometimes. Most times.
When the path disappears, I’ve learned to embrace where I am, those times I have no idea where I’m headed, where I’ll end up.
Here, I’ve come to know the deepest, greatest freedom.
I’m free, open, desirous of whatever comes through at these times, whatever rises from the ashes, whatever becomes clearer and clearer over time and patience.
Here, no one can tell me I’m off because there’s no path, track, trail to follow.
Full of life.
Not so little anymore.