As much as I want – 45/100

I’m finding that there is no limit to anything.

I’m finding that I can have what I want.

All that I want. Everything I want.

Life is generous.

I get to choose how generous it is to me.

I not only get to knock on the door. I get to open the door.

I get to go in and feel and experience all that’s in store for me.

In a way, I’ve always known that, I’ve always received.

When I wanted and expected loneliness, emptiness, insecurity, I got it.

When I expected rejection and hurt and pain, I got it.

Generously.

I got deep into the mire, the swamp of self-loathing, isolation, desperation, hopelessness.

And I’m grateful.

Grateful that I get to choose.

Grateful it’s as simply as that. No formula, no secret code.

I get to invite in what I want.

And I see that Life also offers unconditional Love, boundless Hope, exhilarating Freedom – as much as I want.

I want it.

I see that I get to have as far as I want.

It requires something simple, so simple it almost hurts to look back at the path I’ve come.

It requires nothing more than Yes.

Because I’ve always wanted Love, Hope, and Freedom.

I didn’t know how to say Yes.

I didn’t know I deserved it.

I didn’t know the extent to which Life would grant me my Joy.

I didn’t know it would grant Life, God, Universe immense uncontrollable Joy to give me so freely, so fruitfully the Good that I desire, the Good I was destined for.

Life really does want me to succeed, to thrive, to soar.

As much as I want.

As high as I want.

As deep as I want.

All that I want.

And I’m learning, at this time, to want.

It’s laughable maybe.

But it’s where I’m at, it’s what I’m doing.

It’s thrilling, it’s delightful, it’s fun.

The wonder and perfection of Life is not the chance happiness, the coincidental gifts and offerings that I used to wait for, wish for, long for.

The wonder and perfection of Life is the convergence of all that is and all I want and am.

It’s the fantastical meeting of the individual that I am and the infinite eternal glory of all that is.

It’s a meeting place of no rules, no boundaries, no limits, no conditions.

It’s a meeting place of soul-level desire, contentment, and ecstasy.

It’s a meeting place yielding Beauty and Hope and the waters of life rushing forth.

It’s a meeting place from which Life is conceived, ushered into the world, and enjoyed.

As much as I want.