If I were to see where I am, who I am today, three weeks ago, three months ago, three years ago, nine years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it.
I wouldn’t have known what to do with myself, known how to arrive in the future, into myself.
It’s quite unbelievable, in my opinion, the level of life and freedom I feel, the comfort I feel within myself, the solidness of integrity and knowing.
I would have scared the shit out of me, if I had known where I was headed.
I may have shied away, skirted the flow of me, the flow of life through me.
I may have blocked myself, consequently hurting and shackling myself to ideas of what’s right, what’s familiar.
In the not knowing, in the trusting and surrender, there was a freedom and a space for me to allow what wanted to come through without worrying or comparing or wondering or thinking too much.
In the venturing, there’s a certain level of openness, willingness to explore, to value the experience more than results or outcome.
It’s an open space, no rules, no limits, no holds barred.
Correction – anything goes as long as I let it.
The greatest gift I’ve ever given to myself is relinquishing control and conditions and attachments.
Life comes alive in that space, in that receiving.
It’s wild, it’s free, it’s uncontainable and overflowing.
And I don’t have to know how to get there.
I don’t have to understand the path, to analyze what’s happening, where I’m going, exactly.
I don’t even have to feel safe.
I just rest in the fact that I am supported and loved by Spirit and universe and that is enough.
Knowing that, I don’t need to know everything. I don’t need to know how to put my foot down ahead of me every step, I don’t need to know every pebble, rock, and boulder I pass by, I don’t need to say hi to every passersby.
Knowing that, I don’t want to know everything.
The mystery beckons, whispering promises of truth, love, freedom, and hope.
And I get to answer.