Origins – 65/100

One of the hardest parts of this chapter of my life is not feeling free to express and share as I am on social media.

Specifically, regarding my parents.

I do share openly on my blog and that’s shared on Facebook automatically but I’m about 100% sure that my parents don’t read it. They won’t be reading this.

It actually feels a little crazy to me that I’m writing this… because what if they do?

What if they are?

Mind blowing.

Heart wrenching.

Because I’m able to speak to the world, bare my soul to everyone…

Everyone except the people who bore me, who raised me, who love me in a way only they can.

Because I’m able to be all of me, the person I’ve become through this journey…

Except when in front of those from which this journey originated from.

It’s a sobering thought.

I’m humbled.

I don’t wrong them.

I don’t wrong myself.

I’m present to what is, right now.

I know it won’t always be like this.

I know I will be more open with them, when I feel the time has come.

And I know they’ll be faced with the choice to respond a certain way, be a certain way.

I have no expectations on them.

I truly want them to be happy and satisfied with their lives and with mine.

And I know I want myself to be happy and satisfied with my life.

And when it comes down to it, I will choose to be loyal to myself.

I will choose to be in integrity with who I am.

Not to harm or disrupt or disturb them.

Not to spite them.

But to honor myself, the life and soul that came through them.

And in that, to honor them for the wonderful thing they’ve done in participating in my existence.

I’m grateful for them.

I’m grateful for this incredible life.

I’m again humbled that I get to live this life, this one.

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

Nothing else I’d rather be doing.

No one else I’d rather become.

No other parents I’d choose.

No other household to grow up in.

Life is full.

Life is complete.

Life is wild.

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