Then Now and now Now – 66/100

Over the past several years, I’ve gone inside for answers.

It was a lot of sifting through thoughts, contemplating, wondering, processing. All of which led to knowing and experiencing peace, freedom, and a deeper sense of Love.

I felt there was a lot to understand, a lot to actively pursue.

file cabinets.jpg
Photo by Mr Cup / Fabien Barral on Unsplash

There still is, no doubt.

My sense, nowadays, in seeking deeper understanding is less conscious process.

More of being.

More of seeking the fullness and beauty of the Moment, of the Now.

And more of trusting the process.

More of knowing that it is all happening for me.

More of believing everything comes full circle, in its time.

More of doing Life the way it was and is meant to be done.

In letting go.

In enjoyment.

In freedom.

In trust.

In courage.

In not knowing.

In beholding the unknown.

In appreciation.

Less worrying if I’ll be free of my limitations.

Less sifting through the file cabinets of my experiences, my thoughts.

Less anxiety – about Everything.

I guess because I can see, looking back, that everything happened beautifully within.

Everything unraveled freely and as it should.

It always does.

And I don’t always need to know and understand everything.

I don’t actually need to know – period.

I just need to be here.

I just need to be here Now.

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Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Unsplash

That’s all that’s required.

That’s all that’s ever been required.

Once the fear and doubt and worry fell away, I could see better.

I can see that I never got anything done by my own volition, my own intention.

I can see that the flow of Life always takes me higher, deeper, better.

I can see that I am supported by all of Life, all the universe, by the heart of God.

It’s incredible, what that does to me.

It sets me free.

It allows me to allow.

No more striving.

No more desperation.

No more endless seeking seeking seeking.

Life has become more fun, more enjoyable.

I like this place more.

It feels like this place is for me.

It feels like home.

Like I came home.

And it’s even more beautiful, even more for me than if I’d built it on my own.

It’s even more comfortable than if I had picked and chosen the decorations myself with my rationale and logic.

It’s sweet.

Like all of Life.

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