Taking my sweet ass time

With my eyes open, sometimes I can’t see myself

Sometimes all I see are others

What they’re doing

What they’re saying

Who they’re being

And I feel lost

Even now

29, almost 30 years old.

With my eyes open, sometimes I forsake my truth

my wonder

my soul.

I wander down the aisles of another’s journey

another’s story,

another’s heart.

I lose myself in my own curiosity,

in my generosity of another’s place in my Life,

in my space,

in my energy.

I can see now,

it’s better to keep my eyes shut, sometimes.

Keep the light out,

stay in my darkness,

my warmth,

my essence.

Remembering who I am,

not in relation to another,

not in conjunction with another.

Remembering who I am,

in the stillness of All I Am,

the quiet, where no lie can exist,

no untruth can be known.

With my eyes shut, I can see myself,

what I’m doing,

what I’m saying,

what I’m Being.

With my eyes shut, I feel seen,

heard,

found,

known.

With my eyes shut,

I see my truth,

my wonder,

my soul.

I wander down the canyons of my being,

etched with moments only I’ve tasted,

seen,

heard.

I direct my own story in a medium of its own,

knowing and still learning.

With my eyes shut, I can see the whole world,

my world,

complete and whole.

Maybe I’m too weak,

too sensitive,

too swayed,

not determined,

not grounded,

not confident enough.

Maybe I am.

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Maybe I haven’t learned enough,

maybe I’m naive.

Maybe I am.

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Because I know what I see.

I see a beautiful soul,

contracted to soar beyond what she sees,

believing a belief of hope and freedom and beauty,

taking her sweet ass time

because if this isn’t life,

what is?

2 thoughts on “Taking my sweet ass time”

    1. Hi Samyak – I believe Who We Truly Are originates from within. The world we experience and encounter with our 5 senses doesn’t tell us Who We Truly Are; we simply assume who we think we are by picking up how the world relates to us. It’s what we’ve learned as children, the limitations put on the wondrousness and magnificence of our nature, which flows freely with Infinite Intelligence…

      So when I go inward, I feel like I’m accessing that very essence of Who I Am, in the stillness and quiet of my soul, hearing the steady beat of my heart, where the source of my desires and Inner Knowing resides. It’s here, that I not only find but Experience and Know myself and how I choose to show up in the world.

      Not to say that the world is a bleak and depressing landscape, but it doesn’t satiate the questions of my soul and being – not like the vastness and pureness within.

      Thanks for the compliment!! I receive in full!! 🙂

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