I have things to say.
Things to do.
Places to go.
I’ve created a life in which I follow my heart and soul,
live from within,
answer to not much else but God and myself.
Many times, I think to myself, I have no idea what I’m doing.
But many more times, I feel it in my bones how deeply I know what I’m doing,
how to live my life,
how to be fully me.
Even though there are many things that I haven’t done in life,
things I want to try,
there’s a deep place within that completely absolutely knows what the fuck is up.
There’s a place within that lives in complete knowing,
It’s a river that flows beneath the river,
It’s intangible, unseen, secret.
It’s hidden in the depths of my heart, of my essence, my being,
its whispers only heard by me.
My sensitivity to it is all I know,
all I can see, hear, feel.
It’s more real to me than the physical world,
it’s more tangible to me than the people around me,
It’s more sustaining than food,
more quenching than water,
more satisfying than surrendering to food coma.
Actually, that’s kind of hard to beat.
Let’s just say, if given the opportunity to fall into food coma or tap into that river of LIFE within, I’ll 100% every day all day go with the latter.
There’s something about absolute knowing that is just mf life-changing.
There’s something about knowing who tf I am, and what tf I came here to do that simply cannot be duplicated, beat, or bought.
It’s a drug.
It’s a remedy.
It’s everything I’ve ever wanted,
and it’s still a dream to me that I get to live my life like this.
It’s still a dream to me that I predicted this.
Well, back then, I didn’t know that I would actually become the person I wanted to be.
I just wished and hoped from afar and did the work of healing, processing, releasing my shit i.e. misbeliefs, bad faith, etc.
I did it daily, I did it consistently, I did it fully.
I held back nothing when it came to full alignment, full integrity, full faith and trust in God, the universe.
I poured out everything, knowing, somehow knowing that this was the way to life, to the life I truly wanted to live.
And so, here I am.
Living that life.
Being that person.
I am absolutely actualized.
I live embodied in the faith I built, cultivated, honored, integrated, chose, decided, chose.
It feels so big, that it feels like it chose me.
Like I almost didn’t have a choice in the way I chose to go.
But I did.
And I always chose the thing, the way, the belief that I believed deep down inside would land me exactly here.
It’s a nice thing, to have a track record to look back on.
To see that what I had in the past hoped for is today soundly true.
To feel it in my bones, the knowledge of God, the friendship with universe.
It’s a nice thing, but not required.
Because at one point, I had no track record.
And I still did the damn thing of believing what I truly wanted to believe.
And today, it’s the same thing.
It’s moving in the direction of what I desire, of what I know I’m meant for, what’s meant for me.
I keep going because the journey has always been the destination.
And so, as I get older, as I add to my experiences, to my relationships, my moments of life,
I meld deeper into the truth of who and what I am, thriving in the integration of my divinity with my humanity.
This I know, this I choose, this I live,
today and forever.
So it is.