Walking in Faith is Not for the Faint-Hearted

Aug 2020 | Dome Rock, Sequoia

To walk in faith

is to walk in love.

It’s to walk in trust.

It’s to walk in the unknown.

It’s to walk in the unknown…

knowing.

That’s the kicker.

Walking in faith is seeing NOTHING that even minutely, to ANY degree resembles the end destination, the life we desire, the person we hope to become,

and still –

living as though it’s true.

And still –

living as though we KNOW wtf is up, how it’s going to end.

The living of it comes straight from the heart of KNOWING.

It comes straight from the center of All That Is Life.

We simply choose into it.

Like we choose this morning we want to eat cereal rather than pancakes.

Or wear sandals over sneakers,

or a red convertible over a white SUV.

It’s just a choice.

I know, it doesn’t seem that simple.

And it seems like I’m WAY OVERSIMPLIFYING IT.

Like can’t I SEE that life has been so hard!?!

That there’s a FREAKING REASON you are the way you are?!

That you didn’t CHOOSE this life, you didn’t CHOOSE this trauma, this aching, heartbreak, etc etc etc.??!?!

Grace, you insensitive asshole.

How dare you water down the EXTENT AND DEPTH OF THE PAIN AND SUFFERING I’VE GONE THROUGH?

If this is how you feel, I’m actually not speaking to you, this message isn’t for you.

It’s for you when you KNOW there’s MORE than the attachment to the identification of the past pain, suffering, trauma, WHATEVER.

You already know there’s more, there’s GOT to be more.

Let me tell you something – and it makes me OH SO GIDDYYYYYYYYY TO SAY THIS – 

that is your fucking SOUL.

That KNOWING?

That DESIRE?

That YEARNING??????

YASSSSSSSSSSSS.

That is your mf SOUL speaking.

It may not speak in words, but we all know words don’t always cut it.

Your soul speaks WITHIN YOU.

Words unnecessary.

Cognitive understanding optional.

Actionable list of to-do’s to the wayside.

Soul knows.

You know.

Your soul speak to, in, from your heart.

And ONLY YOU know what that’s like.

ONLY YOU can decipher it.

It is your fucking PATH, DESTINY, JOURNEY to do so.

To decipher it for YOUR FREEDOM,

to integrate the mf universal truth,

to heal and release all the bullshit you thought was stopping you from everything you desire – EVERYTHING,

to embody that truth, YOUR truth,

and then… to TRANSLATE THAT SHIT INTO YOUR LIFE.

Yes, translate it into REAL MF LIFE.

Translate it into your soulmate relationship,

money in the bank,

car/s in the garage,

meaningful community,

ETC ETC ETC.

The idea that we need to work hard to get these things IS THE LIFE OF NO FAITH.

It’s the idea that we need to see it for it to be true.

It’s the falsehood that the PHYSICAL EFFORT makes our endeavors worthy of the desired outcome.

Do you realize that if you came from soul, then you were meant to LIVE from soul?

And that if you were to LIVE from soul, essentially, the energetic GOD-NESS OF THE MF UNIVERSE, your ENTIRE LIFE WOULD REFLECT THAT SAME MAJESTY AND MAGNIFICENCE?

Do you get that???

Do you get that you are first ENERGY,

you are first PURE LOVE,

you are first absolute FAITH IN THE FLESH??

And when you connect to that fundamental element of your being,

when you observe it,

accept it,

love it,

receive it deep into yourself, your heart,

if you ALLOW IT TO TAKE OVER YOU,

your LIFE CAN’T HELP BUT RESPOND???

Because everything in your life TODAY IS THE DIRECT RESULT OF WHO YOU ARE – or rather, who you THINK you are, what you THINK  life is to you, who God is to you.

Your life is ALREADY REFLECTING THAT.

Which makes sense, right?

Because you ARE the powerful creator of your life.

You already ARE.

It’s just, somewhere along the way, you forgot your god-ness.

You forgot your worthiness.

And life began to respond to THAT part of you.

Obvi.

Because you are God.

And now, the GREATER God-ness of you…

you CHOOSE NOW.

You CHOOSE your adventure.

You CHOOSE your YOU-NESS.

Actually, you ALLOW ALL of your YOU-NESS to come through.

But until now, you haven’t done it.

You haven’t seen what that looks like.

You don’t have proof.

So what happens when you do?

That’s called faith.

Motherfucking faith.

That’s looking your fears, your demons in the eye,

and saying,

resoundly,

from the most guttural beastly part of you:

“Fuck you.

I’ma do it anyway.

I’ma be me ANYway.

I don’t need the proof because the proof is in the making – RIGHT NOW.

And THAT is ENOUGH.

BYE.”

It’s choosing to believe and BACK the desire for more EVEN WHEN WHAT YOUR FIVE MEASLY SENSES ARE TELLING YOU IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

“But you’ve never known love, real love – how can you be in that kind of partnership?”

“But you’ve always lived in poverty – how would you ever know what wealth and abundance is?”

“But you’ve been a piece of shit all your life – how do you even know WHAT to change into?”

“But you’ve only ever been hurt, wounded, abandoned – how will you ever be loveable?”

“But everything you’ve ever worked for FAILED – do you even know what success is?!”

But but but.

And?!?!?!?!?

And what?!?!

If you feel the desire for MORE, let that be it.

Let THAT speak to you.

Let it be a message of hope – that even with all your shit-talking in the background,

your desire still remains.

Your desire for a better life,

a great life,

fullness and aliveness in your waking moments,

full and deep rest in your sleeping ones.

As small as you’ve allowed it to become, your desires are the beginning of the rest of your life.

The next step is to believe it.

It’s to back that shit like your life depends on it.

Because it does.

Otherwise, I can tell you what your life will be:

a burnt out too-spent-for-any-good half-assed existence,

where people will say nice things about you at your funeral,

but you, even in your coffin, will be screaming –

“BUT **THIS** ISN’T WHO I REALLY AM!!

DON’T YOU SEE??

I’M MORE THAN THESE EULOGIES,

I’M MORE THAN THIS BODY,

I WAS MEANT TO LIVE A GREAT LIFE…”

And there you’ll be,

looking down at yourself,

shaking your head,

but also laughing quietly,

knowing you will come back to try it again,

but also, remembering those moments of crazy states of actually believing your desires,

but venturing to the edges of LIFE, of your HEART, your SOUL,

peering over the ledge,

making that judgment call:

Not today.

Too scary.

Too far.

I don’t know what’s down there.

Then stepping away from the ledge,

back into oblivion,

back into chosen ignorance,

back into a nothing-full life,

basic existence,

all organs functioning normally enough to live another day, another year, another decade (until something has to give and dis-ease creeps up),

all senses focused on a very very very limited scope of LIFE.

And then calling THAT a life.

PAH.

Don’t offend me.

Don’t offend your soul,

don’t offend God.

To live, truly LIVE, to live in LOVE, the ACTUAL EXPERIENCE OF LOVE, not the watered down Hallmark movie version of it,

not the IDEA of it,

not the manufactured template of it,

no.

To live the ACTUAL MF THING takes another LEVEL of BEING-NESS.

It takes ANOTHER LEVEL of YOU-NESS.

It takes ANOTHER LEVEL OF COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR GOD-NESS.

It takes ALL OF YOU.

ALL YOUR HEART,

ALL YOUR SOUL.

It takes gives yourself over to it, COMPLETELY.

It takes you LETTING IT TAKE OVER YOU.

Letting that love, the truth of Love, the truth of WHO YOU ARE,

WHERE YOU COME FROM (THE HEART OF GOD),

wash over you,

cleansing you from your wild bullshit,

all because

you simply

believe.

Because you CHOOSE the life you can’t SEE.

Because you CHOOSE the YOU you don’t live in – yet.

Because you CHOOSE to believe the wild fantasy idea that your DREAMS DO COME TRUE,

that your DESIRES WILL LEAD THE FUCKING WAY.

That is Faith.

That is LIFE.

True life,

the one you actually want to live.

The that begins to live within you first,

and sprouts into the rest of your life,

because you chose to believe it.

You chose to believe it is MEANT TO COME TO LIFE.

You chose to believe that’s how it ACTUALLY WORKS,

and thank GOD, because THAT IS HOW IT ACTUALLY WORKS.

Amen.

You get me?

You get this??

This is your LIFE we’re talking about.

If you feel it,

you know it.

If you know it,

and you want to embody it,

aka translate it into your life,

PM me 🙂

6 weeks,

1 personalized journey for one kickass person ready to quit the  riptide of spiritual unsteadiness: YOU.

1:1 calls,

unlimited access to me via chat.

When is it time to go all in?

When you decide you’ve had enough of whatever you’re having.

It’s that simple.

Unfortunately and fortunately 😉

Posted by

I'm here to be me because I think I'm pretty cool. Walk with me as I explore myself, the world, and everything in between. I also curse a lot.

Leave a Reply