You Have Chosen Exactly What You Are Today

PC: Soul | Aug 2020 | Dome Rock, Sequoia

I once met someone involved in an MLM (Multi level marketing).

Let’s call her Mary.

Someone else had connected us because she found out I was starting a coaching business and she felt Mary would be a helpful resource.

This was in the very very infancy stages of my coaching/guiding/whatever business.

Grateful for the connection, I immediately reached out and we set up a time to chat.

As the conversation continued, I found out she had quit her coaching business for the MLM opportunity.

Which is all fine and good.

Until she said, ‘If you ever need any help with marketing, strategy, etc., don’t hestitate to reach out to me; I would make myself available to help you on your journey.’

I thanked her and we eventually got off the phone.

It wasn’t until later that day, and years after, that I realized what hit me about her saying that.

She had offered her time and energy to help me with something SHE, HERSELF QUIT BECAUSE

– the coaching industry is too brutal

– no one wants to pay for coaching

– getting yourself out there and standing out is too hard

– no one wants to pay for coaching – yes, you read that twice

– no one sees the value in coaching

– there are too many coaches out there

– IT’S JUST TOO HARD

– and so on

It was and still is incredible (incredible as in unbelievable, not as in amazing or fantastic lol) to me the possibility that she thought

SOMEONE WOULD WANT HER TO TEACH AND SHARE ON SOMETHING SHE HERSELF PROCLAIMED TO HAVE FAILED AT.

Like, what?!?!?

Why the hell would I or anyone else, for that matter, want resources, templates, ideas, strategy from someone who DIDN’T MAKE IT ??????

EVEN IF SHE WAS IN THE “INDUSTRY” FOR PROBABLY A COUPLE DECADES????

As you can see, it still blows my mind lol.

I guess it’s all good intentions.

Yeah, I don’t give a shit about good intentions, not if it has to do with my work, my message, my truth.

I realized then, that it really is not about content,

it’s not about knowledge,

not even about experience, for god’s sake.

It’s about the BEING-NESS of the person.

The unfolding,

the journey within,

the becoming.

When I engage with someone, it’s not with the snapshot of that person in that moment of their life.

Or rather, it’s not ONLY with the snapshot of that moment.

It’s with the ENTIRETY of their LIVING-NESS,

their LIFE-ING,

their integrated truths,

their beliefs,

the wholeness of their existence.

We even engage with their trauma,

their fears,

their unworthiness.

I say all of this, not to talk shit on someone and her good intentions (I was very grateful for her willingness to help),

but to say that we are NOT our knowledge, NOT our experiences, NOT our intentions, NOT anything else,

except the ABSOLUTE FUCKING BEING-NESS OF THE YOU YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BECOME.

TODAY.

RIGHT NOW.

The way you show up in the world is NOT A RESULT OF YOUR PAST.

You are NOT a product of everything you’ve experienced.

You probably already get that.

You get that you have CHOSEN INTO THE BEING YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

If you don’t get that, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you.

You are living a half-life.

Living in the dredges of life,

scraping crumbs from the ground,

asking for others’ good intentions.

You have chosen exactly what you are today.

And the way you have chosen to BE, be with yourself, be with Life, be with God, the universe, is the energy you carry and express to the world.

And anything that is not truly in alignment with your soul that you continue to choose,

will persist in your life,

will attract more of the same.

Because see,

it’s not really even about the things you create, manifest, attract.

Those are secondary.

In my world, I don’t give a shit about that – not fundamentally, not primarily.

Because it’s the WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU’VE BECOME that is the REAL CRUX OF THE MATTER.

It’s who you are IN BETWEEN THE MOMENTS,

IN BETWEEN THE THOUGHTS,

IN BETWEEN THE MOVEMENTS,

that the universe and God are responding to.

Not to mention, the world and everyone around you.

It’s NOT ABOUT THE PROCESS,

NOT ABOUT MANIFESTATION,

NOT EVEN REALLY ABOUT CREATING THE LIFE YOU WANT.

You CREATE YOUR MF LIFE when you finally fucking OWN AND DECIDE WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT TO BE.

The secret is in your being,

it’s in your concious becoming, choosing, deciding

how YOU ARE.

It’s such a subtle thing, though, isn’t it?

How can you put that into words?

How can that be taught?

How can one integrate that?

What does that even MEAN for Christ’s sake?!

Here are a few steps you might maybe possibly find helpful.

1. Throw everything about you out the window

2. Throw everything else you didn’t already throw out in step 1, out the window

3. Look in the mirror

4. Ask yourself – what have I chosen in my life? And who have I decided (even by NOT DECIDING) to become?

5. Answer it from the fucking deepest darkest places from within you

6. Ask it again

7. Answer it again

8. Be with it

It’s a process.

Though I say, fuck processes, I KNOW that, just as it was a process to get to where you are NOW, it is a PROCESS, a journey to do the real fucking work,

of getting real fucking real with yourself.

Because the life you want isn’t not coming to you because you don’t deserve it,

or because something traumatized you,

or because of a loss,

or because of your personality,

or because of your childhood,

or because of your family situation,

or because you grew up poor,

or because you grew up rich but emotionally bankrupt,

or because you ____________________________.

The life you want isn’t coming to you

BECAUSE YOU AREN’T THE PERSON TO LIVE THAT LIFE.

BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO LIVE THAT LIFE.

You wouldn’t be able to contain it,

sustain it,

integrate it,

embody it.

You would have it all and then LOSE IT IN A SECOND because your cup is not integrous with that life.

Life is not cruel.

Life is not malicious.

God is neither.

Life is life.

It’s real.

It’s true.

It’s honest.

Life is responding to YOU.

And there’s something deeper to our existence than simply creating the desired life,

than manifesting millions,

than attracting love,

etc etc etc.

In all of that, the question that prevails,

WHO TF AM I BECOMING?

From where within me am I living, breathing, choosing, creating?

Everything else has been secondary.

None of that really mattered to me.

And it continues to be the case.

For me, it was ALL AND ONLY ABOUT WHAT WAS WITHIN.

The unspoken unseen evolution,

the experience of love, peace, joy, and all that mushy gushy stuff happening strictly within me.

I fucking lived breathed ate it.

Every day.

I chose and chose and chose and chose what belief I would wear,

changing out as soon as I grew one,

taking a mud bath in one I dug and knew was eternal.

I chose and chose and chose,

until my choosing became my becoming,

and my becoming became my being.

And from there,

I have watched my life radically

unexpectedly

yet also expectedly (because hello! I became the person to live an incredible life)

beautifully unfold

to match the person I’ve become.

The one whose capacity for love- romantic, platonic, whatever, blows other people out of the water.

The one who knows that she knows that she knows… she is absolutely perfect, just a motherfucking delight to the universe and to God.

The one who chooses that her Soul leads.

The one who walks in the unknown, pure faith in all things in life because for her, there’s no other way to live, to be.

The one who created a magnificent Soulmate relationship that truly is just mindblowing, the amount of LIFE and LOVE and TRUTH that comes through that exchange.

The one who blew past her conditioning, her upbringing, her religious background, in seeking a truth that spoke beyond any written words, preached sermons.

The one who chooses to believe in her dreams, resurrecting her desires like a fucking bat out of hell.

The one who… I am.

The journey is real.

It’s true.

It’s available for you.

Not just available, it’s MEANT FOR YOU.

You’re MEANT FOR IT.

It’s just truth.

It always has been.

This is the work I do, the message that is coming through – to invite you to examine who you are today, the culmination of your becoming thus far.

To consider new possibilities,

new frontiers,

which are actually not new because they’ve ALWAYS been available and just THERE, waiting for your ass to wake the fuck up and claim some next level shit.

To dwell in, bask in, marinate in the gloriousness of your soul.

And to choose, really choose, the you you intend to become,

the you your soul intended to embody in your lifetime.

If you’ve read this far, first off, I’m impressed.

I don’t know if I would have read it.

Second – I have spots available to work with me 1:1, 6 weeks, weekly calls, unlimited access via chat to do exactly what I’ve expounded on, the journey you somehow got to to get here.

It’s deep work.

It’s the realest shit you’ll ever do.

And whatever you choose, whatever you do, I honor it,

I honor you.

I see you, choosing and desiring a beautiful life that makes sense to your heart, soul, and STANDARDS lol

AND

I see you, choosing daily your becoming.

Love,

Grace

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I'm here to be me because I think I'm pretty cool. Walk with me as I explore myself, the world, and everything in between. I also curse a lot.

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