I would rather look selfish than be out of integrity with my soul

Ever been called selfish?

Or been afraid to be called selfish?

Seen as selfish?

Known as selfish?

Let me tell you something.

I’m about to drop the punchline right at the beginning.

On your deathbed or at the pearly gates, you will be held responsible for one thing and one thing only – 

how you lived your life.

Sorry, I don’t think I said that as clearly as I could have.

You will be held responsible for – 

wait for it – 

how you lived *~*~*YOUR*~*~* life.

I think that’s clearer.

No?

How about, God and the universe and Spirit, whatever, does not give a rat’s ass about how you DID for others.

How you were CONSIDERATE of others.

How you CARED about what others thought.

How you… overlooked your desires,

sacrificed your interests,

degraded the very things that flowed from the freaking heart of YOU.

I promise you.

God ain’t interested.

The universe ain’t interested.

That’s dried up old shiza.

Crusted with the snot of your need for external approval,

reeking of the stench of fear instilled by well-meaning people e.g. your parents, teachers, society, friends, etc. so you meet THEIR needs and expectations and desires.

Because they didn’t actually do the thing of LIVING their life.

As in, the LIFE that will SURGE through you, flooding you with LOVE, JOY, FREEDOM, ECSTASY,

if only,

if only,

you choose it.

If only, you choose it EVEN when it appears selfish, conceited, self-absorbed.

Because if you only choose it when it’s socially CONVENIENT for your external factors e.g. your parents, teachers, society, friends, then are you REALLY actually truly LIVING?

If you are choosing yourself when it doesn’t make noise, create ripples, raise some self-righteous eyebrows,

then are you REALLY actually truly choosing yourself?

Hmmm.

If you are conditional about who you are and what you choose, what kind of life are you asking for?

What are you telling yourself about you?

This is not to say, be selfish so you can stand in your own integrity.

This is to say, know your integrity, stand in it, and fuck whatever voice in your head about how selfish it looks.

This is not to say, be selfish and tell the world to go fuck itself.

This is not to say, do the MOST outrageous heinous non-conforming thing out there for the sake of it.

Truly no.

Truly imbecilic.

Is that a word?

Idk but sounds appropriate.

The real question is, when you are afraid of being selfish, what is it about you that you believe is not acceptable or worthy or valid?

And what is it about fitting in that IS worthy?

Do you really believe you joined life on this planet to live according to NORMS????????

Standards?????

Rules??????

Doctrine??????

Ideology???????

On WHAT accord, did you come to take up space in this ecosystem in your meat suit???

WHY are you HERE?????

What do you WANT while you’re here?!?!?

No, really, What.do.you.want???

Because if it is to be accepted, there’s ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that.

I mean it.

It’s just not how I choose to live and be and do.

It still enRAGES me sometimes to look back on my life and remember that series of micro-betrayals to myself,

to my heart.

I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

But DAMN.

When did it become criminal to choose ourselves?

When did humanity become so crippled that it has to depend on others to feel like a cohesive whole?

The truth is – and this is about to get really fucking clichayyyy –

you are perfect as you are.

Not just your body and mind.

But your heart, your soul, and EVERY SINGLE LITTLE TINY TO EVERY BIG HUGE THING that wants to come through you.

The details and nuances about how YOU want to live your life,

who you want to become – and no, I don’t mean the job, the wife/husband/partner, the parent, etc.

I mean the quality of person you want to become,

that stellar ass person within that is yearning to be released, unraveled, given space to just fucking BREATHE.

The consideration we have for others is great, but they are not – I repeat, they are NOT meant to be the standard of OUR lives.

Selfish?

I’ll take it.

Inconsiderate?

Aaaaabsolutely.

Ignorant?

Sure but not really.

Inappropriate?

Done.

Because the bottom line is – my dreams, my desires, my hopes, my intentions are worth –

I feel kinda ooooweee just saying this –

MORE than everything and everyone around me.

Yeah, I said it.

Just because others have stomped the life out of their soul flow and heart desires doesn’t mean a damn thing about you and how you live your life.

Let them project their needs (that they themselves are not meeting) on you all the day long.

And you?

You keep choosing you.

You keep on keepin’ on, honoring your fine self.

You keep following soul, that thread, no matter how thin or invisible it seems.

You’ll know.

Soul, God, universe may seem quiet.

But you ALWAYS know the matters of your heart.

You ALWAYS know the nudges, the hints, the tugs, because it’s ALL within,

for YOU to feel,

for YOU to choose,

for YOU to trust,

for YOU to live into.

THIS is what you will be responsible for.

This is what you ARE responsible for.

This is your life.

If you’ve been hungry all your life,

maybe it’s time to actually feed yourself.

Maybe it’s time to freaking feed your soul,

and honor your heart.

Maybe it’s time to go all in on you.

It doesn’t have to be drastic.

It doesn’t have to be a global freaking revolution.

But mark my words, every time you choose into your integrity, of what is aligned with YOUR soul, and not what someone wants, wishes, hopes, expects, demands of you,

which is really, what you THINK someone wants (because what they REALLY want is buried so deep they don’t even have the wherewithal to access it. Just kidding, they do, but will they?)

Life flows through you.

You.are.the.allower.and.creator.and.motherfucking.CAPTAIN.of.your.life.

So the next time you quake in the fear of being seen as selfish,

consider how selfish it is of you to NOT allow that pure raw juicy goodness of LIFE in the form of LOVE, JOY, PEACE, TRUTH, ETC ETC ETC to come through you as a UNIQUE and MAGNIFICENT expression of the Divine.

How dare you.

Spread your wings, my friend.

Stop playing the sparrow when you are a freaking top-of-the-food-chain eagle.

You came here for more than that.

If you’re reading this, then you can be assured:

you KNOW you came here for more than a shadow of a life.

And honestly, the inner work is not as hard as you think it is,

the work of trusting yourself.

the work of knowing who you are and what you came here to be.

The shift is already happening.

I have 2 spots available to get down on your evolution with me.

I’m here to uncover, dust off, wake up the part of you that you’ve starved, neglected, wished would go away so you would have some peace.

If you know this is what you NEED, even though you never really NEED anything lol but you get what I mean,

let’s talk.

PM me, comment, email me – grace@gracejyk.com

Be that selfish biatch.

Do the selfish thing.

Own that shit, and watch how it takes you exactly where you want to go to do exactly what you want to do as exactly the person you want to be.

Are you still waiting?

Love,

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I'm here to be me because I think I'm pretty cool. Walk with me as I explore myself, the world, and everything in between. I also curse a lot.

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