I’m coming to find that “taking my power back” doesn’t make sense to me anymore because I never actually was *without* it.
I simply didn’t realize I had it.
And I acted accordingly.
That looked like keeping quiet when I had something to say,
saying something I didn’t truly mean,
doing things I didn’t want to do,
not doing things I wanted to do,
putting consideration of others above my own centeredness and with-me-ness,
Basically anything I thought I ‘should’ be doing/being/saying/whatever.
And then, I blamed everything in the world for my unhappiness, my frustration, my rage.
As I came into ‘spiritual’ – whatever that means lol – language, I learned about ‘taking back my power’.
It made sense.
I had given it away.
Or someone took it from me.
But until I took it back, it was no longer with me.
What REALLY *IS* my power?
Is it the right actions coming from the right place?
Is it becoming the people we are meant to be?
Is it living free? abundant? connected to community?
Is it creating and living our ‘best lives’?
Is it being empowered and doing all the things and going to all the places?
Is it inspiring others? teaching? serving?
Is it raising children and raising them well?
What is it?
To me, it’s none of the above.
They are part of it; they all can express the power within, but they are not the actual thing.
Our power is our consciousness.
It’s not just that we can choose.
It’s the awareness THAT we can choose.
That we can DECIDE from any point in our lives, what we desire and WHAT WE GET TO HAVE.
That we can DECIDE our next thought, next step, next state of being from right HERE.
We need nothing else to access and use our power.
That IS our power.
We go as far as we choose, when we choose.
And THAT ability is NEVER not within us.
It’s part of our DNA.
It’s part of who.we.are.
It’s part of the human experience.
I mean, we CAME here with a longing to understand the mystical aspects of life and self…
We CAME here to remember that we are pure consciousness… if we are willing, open, wanting to choose that as our reality – which already IS the reality.
What would that even look like?
To NOT have that power?
To have ‘given it away’?
Could we stop being ourselves?
Could we stop being, at the very core of us, the essence of US and the GOD-NESS embedded in every aspect of us?
The actual LIVING in our power is the ACKNOWLEDGMENT, the CONSCIOUS MOVING IN THE DIRECTION of our desires, our dreams, our heartfelt guidance.
It’s not ‘taking the power back’.
Where would we take it back from?
Who was holding onto it?
The people we think are ‘holding it’, ‘keeping it from us’, abusing us, etc etc etc, are living in their own hellhole of an existence,
disconnected from their truth,
from their heart and soul,
unaware of their power already vested in them,
unaware that they don’t need to attempt to extract, exploit, abuse others to feel complete, happy, etc.
They are in fact disconnected to a similar degree as the those who believe their power is ‘taken away’.
So, really, we’re often living in a world, creating situations, entering relationships, moving through experiences that reflect a disconnect to power,
not a world in which there is an exchange of power, a transference of power, a give-and-take.
I think that could touch a sensitive chord for those who truly feel that they have been exploited, stripped of their dignity,
that they did not have a choice in their situation.
Because, obviously, WHY would they choose circumstances in which they are treated cruelly, manipulated, hurt, etc?
To which, I believe the answer to that would be better answered in another post.
That goes beyond the dimension of our conscious choice in the current moment of looking into personal spiritual power and knowing.
The truth is, we have always HAD power; we just have not been LIVING IN it, FROM it, WITHIN it because, well, we’ve been taught to focus on externalities.
When I blamed things and people and circumstances for “negative” things in my life, I focused on things outside of me, to justify my experience.
But all those things, I created.
I would not have been aware of them if I was not experiencing them somewhere within.
I created them by expecting them, learning to live with them, accepting them as ‘normal’, desiring things, even better things, from a place of fear.
I got exactly what I thought I was worth.
Not because I WASN’T worthy,
but because I didn’t KNOW that I WAS.
I never *gave* my power away.
I just didn’t know it was available and how to harness it, how to embody it, integrate it, allow it to run freely in my veins, my thoughts, my emotions, my body, my being-ness.
When we blame the world, we are still choosing something.
We are still operating from some level of power, the default kind.
The ability to choose *IS* the power and that ability has never left us.
I think maybe a more appropriate expression could be: we forgot about our power.
We’ve always been in the driver’s seat.
We just had to remember that we are.
If you feel ready to remember, or are just beginning to – which I suspect you are if you got to this point lol – and you’d like to learn more about how to integrate your remembrance into your life experience, your body, etc, email me to chat: firstname.lastname@example.org.
You’re not alone in your journey.
It is in your power to ask for and receive the assistance, guidance, and experiential understanding you desire to embody You, to carry out what you are coded to express in this world, in this lifetime.
I can’t wait.