Sometimes, I can’t get over how beautiful life is.
Sometimes, I get so lost in the realness of it all.
It feels so Here.
In those moments, I feel Me.
It feels like the universe feels me.
Like we’re breathing together,
my inhale, its exhale,
its inhale, my exhale.
A beautiful sweet dance of heart and soul,
of joy and freedom,
Sometimes, it overwhelms me, how beautiful life is.
How Good it is.
How me I am.
In this place of appreciation,
there’s no measurement of my physical world against the feeling.
There’s no physical, visible, tangible explanation.
There’s no correlation, at the heart of it.
Another person in the exact same shoes as mine, I guess even, another version of me, could say the opposite, feel shitty.
It’s just that, I feel it.
I feel the flow of Life all around me,
all up in me,
flowing flowing flowing with love love love.
All I do is tap into it.
All I do is be aware of it.
All I do is let it take me.
Take me to another place, a place where I don’t need to understand,
where there is no understanding as I’ve known it,
where there is just pure perfect knowing.
A knowing that sprouts from within,
A knowing that goes beyond, wayyyyy beyond logic and reason.
A knowing that can hold logic and magic in one hand.
A knowing that validates my existence, my desires, my life.
Sometimes, this knowing is all I know.
It’s all I want,
and really, it’s all I’ve wanted all my life.
It set me free.
From ideas of life, of truth, of me that never yielded anything truly good.
Things that never yielded me the experience I desired,
the ever-flowing joy,
the connection within.
I could cry sometimes, thinking about how good my life is.
How good I feel,
in every moment,
in the spaces between the spaces.
How good I feel in me,
How present I feel.
How present I feel God
How deeply embodied I feel in my truth, in my knowing.
Life is real.
It’s not just an existence.
It’s an experience.
So fucking real.
I can’t even, sometimes.
I never thought or could even imagine 15, 10, 5, 3 years ago that I would be here in this moment feeling this way.
The possibility never crossed my mind.
Every day, I did feel I was doing my best, experiencing the most goodness I was capable of in those moments, so it wasn’t that I felt lack then.
It’s something else.
I say all this because… why not?
There’s a part of me that feels like people will judge me for being hoity toity about how good my life is,
or up in the clouds
or unreal, irrational,
or whatever the heck someone might think of someone high on life.
Like, it’s too much.
Tell ME about it,
it feels like SO much to ME.
And have I walked my valleys?
Have I walked in the shadows of my soul, my heart?
Have I known heartache, heartbreak?
Have I known depression, anxiety, perpetual fear?
And to a degree, I still experience those things.
I still the judge out of people.
I still sit on my throne of self-righteousness.
I still get triggered by the smallest of things.
I still wonder if I’m on the right path.
All in lesser doses than in the past (thank GOD lol), but they’re still here.
I let it all go.
I choose the Flow.
I choose freedom.
I choose Truth.
I choose me.
I choose what I want,
again and again and again…
I take my heart and soul seriously (which doesn’t not equate BEING serious),
I move closer and closer to the heartbeat of God,
synchronize more smoothly with the rhythm of the universe,
attune deeper with Spirit’s whispers.
I no longer see Life as the things around me, the physical existence, nor even the breath in me.
The life I live, I see it as the pure ecstatic joy and love, the Presence that lives inside of me, expressing itself into the world out of overflow.
It’s the most beautiful thing, this Life, and the Me that lives it so fully, so deeply, so uniquely.
This way of life, this way of fulfillment, completion (while still being completed) is true for you too.
You’re meant for it.
It’s meant for you.
It’s easier to tap into this flow, this state than you probably think.
This is how easy it is – join me on a Thursday, 7pm PT, and meditate with me and I lead you straight into the soul of you.
It’s my gift and service to you, to the world.
Or if you prefer a 1:1 meditation session, email me – firstname.lastname@example.org.
These sessions go deep as I tune into what’s coming up for you and lead you where I am led to lead you.
If you’re interested, let’s talk.
It’s some fun shit.