the things i despised about my mom,
the things that embarassed me about my mom,
the things that made me roll my eyes about my mom,
i see within myself now.
the more time passes, the more respect i have for her.
partly because i see where she is coming from, from my own experience of these characteristics,
partly because i had judged her for so long and she endured that judgment and still did her thing.
i see that i am my mother’s daughter and it makes me smile.
i really have taken on her most kickass qualities.
they are underrated and i can’t even really put them into words, tbh
but i see them, in my day to day.
i’ve learned so many important, truly important things about living life, about faith, about the little things through the way she lives her life
and i can see that those things come through in my own life without effort, concentration, or even intention
is it because i watched her do it?
or is it because her blood runs in me?
is it both?
does it matter tho lol
it’s really something to see my own evolution with my mom.
i don’t think she will ever be able to understand the hugeness of my experience of her, the depths, the significance
and i don’t think i would be able to convey the intricacies of it all.
it’s satisfying and enough to be aware of it
and to love her the best i can
and to receive her love deeply and at all times.
i am grateful.