Sweetness & the start of something new

The Team

Walking from the parking lot to the office this morning, I suddenly felt the fullness of the moment

Sounds cheesy, right?

I totally felt cheesy

Looking up at the buildings, I didn’t realize that I would realize what this moment held until I was in it

I didn’t think about what it really meant to leave, to start something new

I didn’t realize I would feel so deeply into it

Which is funny because… I feel deeply into pretty much everything lol

I realized I would not be making this walk again for a very long time, if ever

I realized I had walked this way many times without thinking about the fact that these walks were numbered

I realized, even though I don’t remember the circumstances, all the happenings of my life surrounding each time I made that walk, I can feel the fullness of life that was always present then and here, now

When asked how I feel about the new job and about leaving my current one, I’ve responded with a customary ‘it’s bittersweet’

But as I walked from the parking lot, into the open air, under the still dark morning sky, tracing my steps, I realize, it’s simply sweet.

Sweet

The whole thing

From beginning

To middle

To now

From onboarding

To sleepless nights

To deadlines

To team hangouts

To amazing food (curated by my Managing Director lol)

To meaningful conversations

And even more meaningful and lasting relationships

To the laughter, the hilarity of life in the workplace and out,

To the grandness of it all,

The  grandness and wonder of Life that can’t be barred or extracted from corporate life

The sweetness of it all, is not really in the grandness, because the grandness is always there

Life is Grand, period.

That’s just what it is, how it does, wherever we go, whatever we do

The sweetness is to see the person I have become, to allow for the full ass experience of all of Life, in this moment and era of my life

The sweetness is about my choosing to know myself, to be myself, to love myself, to back myself in all aspects of this part of my journey,

Which speaks so loudly to me because I once condemned myself for being a ‘corporate sellout’ hahhaa

Yeah.

I thought that there couldn’t possibly be Real Life in a J O B

I thought there couldn’t possibly be Truth and Freedom in having a paycheck

I thought there couldn’t be space for full self-expression and Joy in having a career

Now, I realize, I didn’t know shit

The sweetness comes from observing that I have become the person who maintained – and still maintains, let’s be clear here lol – a corporate job, advanced in her career and professionalism while fully immersed in her deeper journey and healing

The sweetness comes from observing the way I have integrated my job into my life fully, seamlessly, such that no part of me really contradicts any other part of me

You get me?

The sweetness also comes from realizing that, in my surrender, I’ve allowed Life to show itself to me as it really is

And it is so goddamn sweet

It is so relentlessly True and Good and Pure and Perfect

It really really really really really really so really is so so so so so so so Good.

I am so deeply humbled that this is my experience

And so gatdamn confident that, yes, this is the life * I * created

It feels… unequivocable to any other moment of my life (really tho, is there any moment that is the same as any other moment? Lol)

Ugh

My heart

My freaking heart.

Yay me

Yay Life

Yay All That Is

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Walking my journey, evolving endlessly into the Me I came to Be.

2 thoughts on “Sweetness & the start of something new

  1. Loving this. Loving you. Sending Loving and beautiful Light to your new endeavor my Shaman. 💜💜💜

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