you’re welcome, world

i think one of my gifts to the world is making people feel like they’re funny

if you are one of these very fortunate people, you’re so very welcome

but if you’re inclined to feel offended by this fact of life,

i just want you to know…

every time i have ever laughed at something you said,

a facial expression you made,

a gesture,

anything…

every moment of laughter…

was and is still absolutely real.

rest assured, there was not one part of me that bullshitted you

i mean, that would take so much energy, y’know?

pretending to laugh

ugh what a drag that would be

i’ve been told by people that i make them feel good because i laugh at everything,

like EVERYTHING

like EV ER Y THING

i once felt quite ashamed and embarrassed when i heard this…

at that time, i took it mean i was an airhead, a ditz that just laughed emptily at everything

i thought it meant i’m not really ‘getting’ what’s going on

and that my initial and knee-jerk reaction to everything was to laugh

but now, i see it differently.

because when i really looked at myself,

at the times i do laugh,

at the thing i laugh at,

at the moments i feel laughter bubbling underneath my composure

wait – composure??

HAHAHA

what composure

anyway.

at any given time i let the laughter take over…

it’s very clear to me that i am really laughing,

that it is really my response to the moment,

to the person,

to what they’re saying,

to their expression,

all of it.

i really do find it all funny

and maybe funny is not the right word…

i really do find it all intriguing,

amusing,

enjoyable,

and…

dare i say…

the most cheesy adjective of all…

joyful.

yes.

joyful.

blech.

so cheesy.

but so… freaking GOOD

hahahah

like man.

i can’t help but feel so…

giddy???

about everything

why is everything so hilarious to me?

am i hiding behind something?

nah

i’m just doing my thing

and my thing is to laugh

there’s nothing i love more

i really am the live laugh love girl bahahahah

oh god nooooo

lol

oh well

so back to my original statement,

to all my friends and acquaintances that i laughed with and at,

that laughed because i was laughing,

that laughed even though maybe you didn’t know why i was laughing,

but enjoyed me laughing,

you’re welcome.

heehee

🙂