she’s good

i wasn’t as productive as i wanted to be today

my to-do list remains quite to-do-y

normally, i can feel the anxiety and dread

creeping up in the evening

beckoning me to sit at the desk

to log in 

to scramble

to make up for lost time

lost focus

lost value

and i realized, i’m not playing this game anymore

i realized, the girl that’s been afraid of not being worth anything

has been running the show

she’s done good so far

she’s gotten a lot done from this place of wanting to be worth something,

anything

and now, her reign is tiring me

her guidance honestly sucks

well-intended

poorly grounded in truth

freedom

love

and joy.

she just doesn’t know yet

no one taught her

that she’s okay

she’s good

she’s worthy of praise

worthy of kindness

worthy of space to breathe

to thrive

to run and leap in sheer joy

to enjoy

be all of her

nothing less.

she’s okay.

she’s good.

she’s enough.

she’s enough.

enough

enough

enough.

always.

she can stop turning the wheels,

pushing gears,

coordinating thoughts so they can fit into the narrative of need and attachment and conditional worth.

she’s good

she’s okay

it’s enough to be here

it’s enough to breathe

she’s worth the air

the space

the existence.

and so it is.