lyft: so many

i have so many stories i want to share, since i started driving…

and they keep growing with each day

idk where to start

it’s like picking a lemon from a tree with a million lemons

any one will do

and they’re all good

in my opinion hahaha

so today’s encounter is around…

R, my first passenger i picked up at lax

from the start, he seemed aloof and preoccupied with stuff and so i kept quiet and figured the ride would be uneventful

little did i know

at some point, he turned his attention to me, and asked if i drove full-time

to which, i anwered no, i just recently left my job and i’m ‘figuring things out’ (in quotations b/c what even does that mean?)

of course, he asked, what my previous job was, and i said, software sales

he said he was in sales before and he loved that there was no cap to what he could make financially

and that he worked really hard to create the life he had today

i asked what he does now

he founded an investment bank firm and it’s doing quite nicely

he said he loved helping people grow their money,

helping projects and investments grow, etc.

then he said he felt like he’s feeling the toll of the years of work and work and work on his body and life

i responded, ah, i see. i hear that.

but then he proceeded to talk about how the young people at his company don’t want to work hard,

that they have no loyalty or long-term committment,

and they don’t have the motivation that he remembered himself having.

and i was simply astounded by his perspective

he admitted, without my asking or prompting, that he feels he probably could have made better holistic life choices,

choices that affect his health and wellbeing decades later,

and then shat on young people who are expressing a desire to live and be differently in the corporate world,

basically choosing the better life he couldn’t imagine himself having

and maybe that’s it — he couldn’t imagine it possible to have both, to have it all.

so i guess i’m not that surprised.

during the ride, he took a phone call, it sounded like he was meeting someone for lunch

at some point, R said he was meeting his son and daughter-in-law for lunch and later his other daughter was going to join them at an event

then for some reason, i asked, ‘what are you most proud of about yourself?’

silence

he started saying something, and then paused.

he couldn’t answer

genuinely had no answer

after all his years of life

of parenting

of building a multi-million (billion? who knows) empire

of being in a marriage,

he had no answer to my question — what do you see in the mirror that you like?

after a few moments of he turning over the question, saying that he has so many opportunities to improve yadda yadda yadda

i threw him a bone —

‘what about your kids? would you say you have a good relationship with them? do they like spending time with you?’

after a quick pause, R: ‘yeah, i would say i have a good relationship with them, and we like spending time together.’

i smiled and acknowledged how wonderful that is,

that not every parent says that about their kids,

that it means a lot that a parent should have an interest in their kids,

in cultivating a meaningful relationship,

etc etc etc.

i shared that i don’t really have that with my dad, and i think R’s done a great job…

to which he responded, ‘yes but all the more reason to invest more time with them’

and i dropped it

it was so interesting

i knew this conversation would go nowhere

R lived in a world of inadequacy, his inadequacy

his perception of lack drove him to pursue, to possess, to do more and more and more

while sitting uncomfortably in his self-judgment and self-condemnation

i understand what that’s like

it’s not fun

but what’s even more not fun is someone telling me what to think and how to see myself lol

so anyway, the rest of the ride was chill, we continued the conversation all the way through to the drop off

he wished me the best and vice versa.

would i ride with him again?

yah

10/10

R — you’re perfect as you are. there’s nothing else to do to feel good and wonderful and comfortable with who you are.