lyft: impeded river

i picked up an airport ride a couple mornings ago,

a young couple, one a med student, the other a photographer

they met at the school of rock — yes, that’s a real thing!!

it’s where kids come to learn music AND to learn the play music together and many students end up forming bands together

how cool is that.

anyway, they got close through creating / playing music together

the med student plays bass,

the photographer plays guitar.

the conversation flowed easily, and i was quite intrigued by their awareness and approach to life

they shared that they felt it was odd to expect people at any stage of their lives, not just when they’re young, to know exactly what they want to do,

what they want their lives to look and feel like.

when i shared about myself, about being ‘in between’ jobs, and seeing what’s unfolding next,

the photographer said he read a poem recently

when he paraphrased it, it was exactly what i felt, resonated so deeply,

and it was so lovely to hear

i asked him to share the poet and poem name and i’m happy to share it with you.

it’s a short one — it’s shorter than his summary lol.

enjoy! (i put extra spaces between the lines on purpose btw, to slow down your reading lol)

Our Real Work by Wendell Berry

It may be that when we no longer know what to do

we have come to our real work,

and that when we no longer know which way to go

we have come to our real journey.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.

The impeded stream is the one that sings.

wow, is it just me or is that beautiful?

or am i just looking for something to sympathize with where i’m at in life?

hahaha idk

i just feel like i’m in a completely new place, and like i’m relearning what it means to be me,

how to live life,

what i want my life to feel like,

more than what i want my life to look like,

etc etc etc

i feel like i don’t even know how to describe what i feel sometimes, bc idk if the words have the same meaning as they did before

it’s both… mildly frustrating and liberating

to feel like i don’t know anything is cathartic

i feel i’ve been taught that not knowing is the worst sin,

the greatest shame,

worthy of humiliation and rejection.

but i feel like… this is the place where life really does happen,

where it might even begin…

the pressure to know,

know who i am,

what i want,

how i want to live,

all of it,

does it really serve us?

except to provide a sense of illusory safety and security?

bc what is life if we are not actively creating it —

and not just creating it from the desires that were born from what we were taught and surrounded by,

but from the depths within, that no person, not even us has yet to lay our eyes and senses on?

what is life, if it’s not continuously greater and profound-er wonder and awe at all that we are,

beyond our name, our relationships, our livelihoods, our preferences, even our values?

i’m knowing more and more that what i knew no longer is enough for the me that is here today

this much, i know.

needless to say, i would pick these guys up in a heartbeat,

talk about life and all its intricacies and beauty,

hear another poem or two,

and revel in the moment.

10 out of mf 10.

to my early morning passengers — thank you for you, for sharing a bit about yourselves and inspiring me. enjoy new york!