lyft: mr. sportswriter

i picked up C on a weekday afternoon from a bar in venice beach

he was leaving a group of friends who wanted to get crazier than he wanted to on a weekday evening

it was a really short ride, but the convo was pretty full

we got onto the topic of work — which the convo typically goes there because i’m generally pretty curious about what ppl do

he said he’s a sportswriter

i asked, ‘what’s the ultimate vision for yourself? what do you want to be doing ideally?’

he said, ‘i’m living it.

i write about sports, it’s something i’ve loved all my life,

and now i get to talk and write about it for a living.

i live by the beach.

i’m living my dream.’

yassssss — i hyped him upppp.

then, i don’t remember how the convo turned this way, but we ended up talking about romantic relationships

and how he wanted to be in a committed relationship

he mentioned briefly that he had been engaged and it fell through (at the last minute?)

it sounded like the other person wasn’t ready

or something like that

i felt / heard sadness and grief, moreso in his voice and tone than the words themselves

he then said he’s now seeing a girl that he’s hoping it’ll work out with

i could hear hopefulness, but also, a part that felt sad and hurt, and maybe afraid to hope and desire

i felt excited for him

because we’re all just life-ing

living each breath

desiring our desires

taking each step

not knowing what’s ahead

but trusting our desires enough to keep going

and sometimes, we don’t want to move forward

and that’s okay

sometimes, we feel the hurt and the fear and think that it’s better to stay hidden, still, desiring perpetually

but i think somewhere in us, we know and want to know that our hearts are worth listening to and feeling

and we don’t have to know everything in order to be okay

just this moment

and the next moment that’s becoming this moment

is enough.

life is beautiful

it can feel like a lot

but it’s really simple

feel the feels

all the way

don’t stop til they run their course

the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness

all of it

let it come through

because there’s nothing else to do with them

and let your heart do what it does,

naturally,

freely,

openly.

you would be surprised,

as i have been time and again.

i would drive C again.

10/10

C – do you boo. all the way.