I Felt Like Shit

Today, I felt like shit. I felt sad, disappointed, lonely, frustrated, angry, annoyed, what else… lame, stuck, blah. A lot of blah. Blah blah blah. All I wanted was to feel not blah. Not any of it. I didn’t really understand why this stuff was coming up. As I lay on my bed, on the […]

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I Knew, If I Wanted More, There HAD to BE More

I write from my soul. I write from my heart. I write from my soul because I live my soul. I trust my soul. I know my soul. I believe in it. I know it. It hasn’t always been like this. Nope. It’s been quite different. It’s been a life of living outside of me, […]

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I Promise – You Didn’t Come to Live a Life Defined by Your Mind

You are the perfect person to live your life. YOU are the perfect person to live your life. You ARE the perfect person to live your life. You are the PERFECT person to live your life. You are the perfect person to live YOUR life. You are the perfect person to live your LIFE. Alllllll […]

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There’s Nothing to Fix About You

Procrastination is not the issue. Laziness is not the issue. Greed is not the issue. Nor anxiety, overeating, bulimia, depression, worry, fogginess, lack of direction, disinterest, boredom, rage, frustration, mediocrity, loneliness, powerlessness, helplessness, fear, poverty, wastefulness, broken relationships, toxic relationships. None of these are issues. Not the Real issue. They are indicators. That’s all they […]

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Read This to Come Back to Your True Self

I don’t get it all. I don’t get most of it. I don’t know much. I haven’t experienced all the things in the world. I’m just me. I’m all me. The thing that is for me is to just be here. To be all me. To be with me. To know me. To see me. […]

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When You Say Yes to Soul, Life Only Gets Better

When you go all in on you, when you trust who you are, when you believe and know that your desires matter and are meant to come true, when you live in that knowing, Life can ONLY BE GOOD. When you choose to be All That You Truly Are, Life can ONLY BE WHOLE. When […]

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Are You Living a Certificate Life or a Real Raw You Life??

There is nothing pretty about living a pretty life. We are not here to live acceptably, decently, understandably, etc. We are here to live life as we are meant to live it. That blueprint exists only inside of every single person. Only in every single person that ever existed, that exists, and that will ever […]

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It’s Hard to Live Life NOT Being All of You

What you desire, desires you. By your desiring it, you create it in your vortex, in the quantum. It begins existing the moment you think of it. We think it’s not “real” because it’s not in physical reality (yet). But the truth is, its “real-ness” is not dependent on it existing in physical reality. It’s […]

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You Choose How Deeply You Want to Live Life

Life is happening. Right now. All around you. Especially within you. You are the center of it all. The intersection between the explainable and the inexplicable. The crux of the human and the divine. You. You, the gorgeous awe-inspiring creature, you. Absolutely perfect. Your ways, your journey, your thoughts, your beauty undetectable by the naked […]

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The Best Part of Life is That You Actually Do Know How to Live It :)

You don’t have to know anything except the fact that you do know. That, you do have to know. Because when you do, everything falls into place. And it’s more of a choosing, that you do know. A deciding. A this-is-just-what-it-is-and-that’s-it-ing. An I’m-unavailable-for-it-to-be-any-other-way-ing. Otherwise, you’ll be forever looking at the heavens, beseeching the gods or […]

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Until You Do This, You’re Missing the Whole Freaking Point

Until you listen to your soul, you clearly have not done the thing you’re meant to do. You know it. It’s obvious. Obvious is the way you feel BLAH, fuzzy inside, uncentered, desiring but not being fulfilled, unhappy. There’s nothing wrong with any of that. In fact, those are experiences to be GRATEFUL for. They […]

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All Your Soul Wants is *You*!!

The truth about who you are lies beyond the mirror, beyond your relationships, beyond your experiences, beyond your personality, beyond your desires, beyond your dreams, beyond your ____________. The truth of who you are lies in YOU. It’s such a squishy thing to say, how does one then understand, encounter, know the truth about oneself? […]

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Your “Higher” Calling is Not an Excuse for a “Harder” Life

Bullshit. I hate this hypocritical sacrificial sabotage. Your path is difficult because you made it difficult. Because you bought into ideas and concepts that were taught to you by well-meaning adults. And now you’ve identified so much with them THAT YOU THINK THEY ARE YOU AND YOU ARE THEM. Your path is difficult because of […]

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*You* Are Responsible For Becoming Who You Are Meant to Become

You are the law of your life. I’m really sorry. By that, I mean I’m really not sorry. At all. But the rules and laws you’ve governed your life around – they’re bullshit. The concepts of expectations, obligations, considerations for others, for the greater good… all of it – bullshit. I’m sorry (I’m not sorry). […]

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If You Don’t Own Your Flow, You Will Never Live It

No need to chase flow. Not being in flow is not the issue, I assure you. The idea that you are not in flow, that is not available to you at any point you desire, that it is arbitrary, that the flow is outside you – alllllllllll bullshit. The release, the breakthrough, that effortless being-ness, […]

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You Are Craving *YOU*, the You That IS the Soul

I am the center of my universe. You are the center of yours. The construct of the world we experience and perceive exists in us. ONLY in us. There is nothing outside of our perceived perception. And that can be a scary thing, because then… there’s no objective truth. There’s no objective God with an […]

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Life is listening, Watching, and Responding to You – all the time

Whatever it is you think you need in order to [ insert whatever it is you want to do and have and be in your life ] is an excuse to not believe it’s available, and thus, not possible for you. Life is responding to you. It’s like little children who hear the bad words […]

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Spirituality is *NOT* Modest

Spirituality is not modest. Spirituality is not quiet, submissive, subdued. Spirituality is the wildest thing you will ever experience, encounter, BECOME. I once thought spirituality and religion were expressed by lessening myself, diminishing my desires, relinquishing power over my life, giving everything over to God. Well, that last bit, still stands. But the rest – […]

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Your Greatness Is Not Enough

Let’s be real. It’s not enough that you ARE Powerful. Eternal Infinite Cosmic Unconditional Creative beyond your wildest imagination Glorious Magnificent Majestic in ALL YOUR BEING. It’s just not enough. Sorry. Not sorry. Really not sorry. It’s quite an amazing thing to BE ALL THESE THINGS. But the THING that TRULY FUCKING BLOWS IT ALL […]

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Opt Your Ass Back In To Your Soul

Keeping the peace while compromising yourself is not peace. Believing something for the sake of believing something is not faith. Anything done, said, be’d outside of the integrity of your soul is exactly that – outside the integrity of your soul. And whatever you feel you gain from it is a load of bull. However […]

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The Pleasure of the Paradox that is YOU

Humans are interesting beings. Wouldn’t you agree? We can be both alive and not living. Living and not alive. We encompass the spectrum of life, experiences, personalities, which sometimes seems contradictory. My favorite contradiction of being me: Perfect and Being Perfected. Oowee. Arrived and Arriving. I don’t know why I’m capitalizing those words, but here […]

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Always Move in the Direction of Your Soul – You Will Not Be Disappointed

I never knew my life could be this good. So fucking good. But then, I did know. It’s why I followed every single freaking thread, every single nudge within, every single hint and clue and thought and belief that I believed came from soul. It’s why I said yes to what was within again and […]

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I Would Rather Die

As an 8 year old, the earliest I can remember, I asked myself: How do I live this life? When I asked that, I was standing on the blacktop outside of my classroom. It was recess. I was facing the big open space for us to run around in, play. I felt no desire to […]

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Walking in Faith is Not for the Faint-Hearted

To walk in faith is to walk in love. It’s to walk in trust. It’s to walk in the unknown. It’s to walk in the unknown… knowing. That’s the kicker. Walking in faith is seeing NOTHING that even minutely, to ANY degree resembles the end destination, the life we desire, the person we hope to […]

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Your Job is to Love YOU

I am so in love with my life. I am so in love with me. As I type, I see my reflection in the computer screen, as I watch the letters on the screen appear. I once thought the idea of loving self as immoral pride, unspiritual, ungodly. That it meant I was taking away […]

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STOP FUCKING AROUND, WORKING SO HARD, AND DENYING WHO YOU REALLY ARE

I wish I could tell you I got my body to this point by working out hard or sticking to a diet or counting macros or following a program. I wish I could tell you it was that easy. Because honestly, I’m quite proud of what I see in the mirror. Call me vain, but… […]

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Whether God is Near or Not is 100% Up to You

I don’t know what to write. But I also do. So, which is it. Well, since I’m writing now, I must know what to write. Interesting. Even as I wrote, I don’t know what to write… I was writing. So, I did know. Which means, even when I don’t know, I do know, even if […]

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I be knowing some shit about life

I have things to say. Things to do. Places to go. I’ve created a life in which I follow my heart and soul, live from within, answer to not much else but God and myself. Many times, I think to myself, I have no idea what I’m doing. But many more times, I feel it […]

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Your Body Tells You The Story Of You. Your Body Doesn’t Lie.

You can’t really tell in the photo but I was struggling with my weight and my body. A lot. I didn’t gain a massive amount os weight, but I knew in my heart of hearts, I was deeply dissatisfied with myself. I was skinny in high school, super fit, with a way low body fat […]

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The Thing You Think You Need to Become You Isn’t What You Think It Is

Fuck affirmations Fuck the processes Fuck the “it takes time” – okay maybe not all the way lol. We live in a physical world and sometimes there’s some catching up to do that may take what we like to call “time” Fuck the idea that it needs to be hard or challenging Fuck “doing the […]

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Is This You??

“From birth I was cast upon you,From my mother’s womb you have been my God.”Psalm 22:10 The moment I read this, I knew this was me. I knew in my heart of hearts, this was exactly what I had been seeking all my life, as a KID. I knew I was not JUST a human […]

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Projecting, Much?

Did you know life is actually VERY simple? Like almost infuriatingly simple? Like ridiculously simple? Like so simple you want to go back in time and slap yourself for not knowing how simple it actually is? God really is an artist for putting this whole show together FOR us to live, enjoy, master, and thrive, […]

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We Are The Crazies

Crazy has been demonized. It’s been not okay to be crazy. To be out of one’s mind. It’s been not safe. It’s been not normal. The really crazy thing is the idea of normal. I was taught growing up to be logical, to do what’s right, ultimately what would allow me to make sense to […]

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Truth of the Day

Pulled from my journal this morning. Man it was flow. So good. So full, delicious, so flow. I command the universe. The universe loves to meet me where I’m at. Life LOVES to meet me where I go. I am 100000000000% supported in my desires BECAUSE I CAME HERE TO LIVE THEM. That is WHY […]

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I Don’t Need to Take Care of the Middle, The Problem, the How

I have this tapestry. My best friend, Stef, gifted it to me for my birthday. It’s a picture of the beach, right by the edge of the shore, with a million dollar view of the sun setting? rising? near the horizon. I love it. She (Stef) gets me. Out of all the objects I have […]

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What Does Absolute Trust Look Like?

Pulled from my journal this morning. Everything is in caps because that’s exactly how I wrote it lol. Enjoy! I’M RELAXED AND RELAXING ALL THE TIME. I KNOW EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT FOR ME. I KNOW MY DESIRES ARE WORTHY OF ME AND I AM WORTHY OF MY DESIRES I WALK IN CONFIDENCE KNOWING THAT […]

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The Micro-(r)evolution

I did a Facebook live earlier this morning about how all it takes to get from our HERE reality to our THERE desired reality, is… Faith. Damnit though. Why does it have to be so wispy, so intangible? Faith is for the spiritual, the woo-woo, the devout, the religious. No, you fool. Faith is for […]

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I Am Willing

I am willing to see. I am willing to see things differently. I am willing to align with my Highest Self. I am willing to evolve. I am willing to expand, to encompass new dimensions, to integrate new eternal truths. I am willing to go all in on me. I am willing to believe and […]

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The only version: Me

There is only one version of me. I am the only me that ever was, is, and will be. So, who or what can tell me who or what I am? Who defines what is good or right or best for me? I have lived long enough – I would almost say too long, but […]

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We know God as we are

I’d always been confused by the incongruences and inconsistencies of the Bible. I couldn’t understand why and how the Bible, the source of absolute truth, didn’t make sense in today’s world and time. If it was so timeless and impeccable, how come so much of it doesn’t make sense or fit into today’s narrative? Why […]

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Gratitude and me

Gratitude. I feel gratitude. It feels like fullness. Like the vessel of me, my physical body, the container of my thoughts, the essence of my being is FULL, touching, pushing against the edges of who and what I am. It doesn’t matter what I’m grateful for. There’s a knowing that the logic, the thoughts, the […]

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Onward ho

I told my dad about my relationship with Jolie. 3 months ago. A little over 3 months ago. On the way to the airport, right before I left for a work trip for 10 days. I didn’t plan to make it seem like I was running away after dropping the bomb on him. It just […]

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Effortless union

Life as beautiful as me, Love as beautiful as you. We make a good couple, duo, pair. Hand in hand, step by step, breath by breath. Looking into each other, into the abyss, the bliss of who we are, the perfection, completeness, the completion. Calling forth of the other, rising up within ourselves, meeting in […]

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Just like my Creator

I’m tired of fitting into boxes. Tired of “making things work”. Tired of withdrawing because I’m afraid of losing my space, my time, my energy. Tired of “protecting” my space. Tired of feeling like I need to justify my space and what I want. Tired of “letting go”, learning not to attach myself. I’m tired […]

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Blooming remains

Five years ago, I was out in Barcelona studying abroad and sending photos of my experiences and adventures to my ex. I prefaced my photos with: Sorry, I’m horrible at taking pictures. He immediately responded: You are brilliant and everything you do is fucking fantastic. I blushed at that, so aware of my melting heart, […]

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I told my mom I’m dating a non-male

Me: Mom, I have something to tell you. Mom: What? Silence Me: It’s kind of hard to say. Mom: What? Silence Mom: Just say it. Me: I know… but… Silence Me: I’m dating someone Silence Me: Not a man Mom: ? Me: I’m dating that friend I brought over a couple months ago Silence Mom: […]

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Leaving the nest – Pt. 1

In my life, I consider the moments of moving in faith, “jumping the cliff”. Like quitting my job, letting go of a 4-year crush that I thought would be the relationship of my life (HAHA), things like that. I have no idea what’s at the bottom, if there is a bottom. I have no idea […]

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Are you home?

Looking up at the sky today, I was mesmerized by the wispy clouds against the blue background. Super gorgeous day. I could see the clouds slowly unfurling and meandering, nowhere to go, nothing to do. Gazing at the vastness, enjoying the warmth of the sun, I had a sudden feeling that I was in a […]

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You belong here

My friend, you are the laughter of the universe. The smile of God. You are the giddiness of Mother Earth. Perfect and lovely as you are. My friend, the sun shines brightly, as brightly as it’s made to, to remind you of your warmth, your light, your brightness. The moon watches silently, inviting you to […]

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Still hungry

In this moment of Life, I feel gratitude. I feel joy. I feel fulfillment. I feel flow. And this same moment of Life doesn’t look anything like I thought it would, in order for me to feel gratitude, joy, fulfillment, flow. I work full-time in public accounting, also known as a soul-sucking corporate machine. It […]

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The dead dances

[Taken from today’s journal spew] Wowza. Look at that. “19”. [after writing today’s date] Yeah. It really happened. Really really. Here we are… 2019. Really just a number. Really just a collection of months, weeks, days… And yet it gives us, me meaning. Something to look forward to. Something to enjoy. Or not. The cynical […]

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From the desk of your CEO and Captain,

I would like to thank you for being a courageous player in this Game of Life. I know you didn’t have to, or you could have been less involved or whatever. But you so daringly jump in, yielding relentlessly to faith, truth, freedom. Your desire to live and live fully is magnificent. You are a gorgeous […]

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Reframing disappointment – 62/100

It wasn’t until very recently that I’ve been operating life from a fear of disappointment. That wasn’t very surprising, to be honest. It helped me understand why I didn’t go for things, why I held my breath for the other shoe to drop, why I detached myself from desires, wants, hopes. To be honest, it […]

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Sacred calling – 43/100

Yesterday evening found me sprawled out on my bed feeling not-normal. Feeling bleh, meh, and eh. It wasn’t horrible. Which is intolerable to me at this point. In the past, it was all I knew, this feeling of emptiness, quiet anxiety, lack. Now, I acknowledge and allow, but it is not where I choose to […]

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Source and Me

I am Source. Source lives in me. I live in Source. There is no separation between us. But the “us” negates the separation. How can this be? How can two be One? How can One be two? It’s impossible. And to me, that’s Life. It’s the impossible. The in-between. The inexplicable, uncontainable, untameable. By definition, […]

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Straight shootin

I grew up thinking this is what an apple looks like after it’s fully consumed: Imagine my surprise when I ran into this a couple years ago: I felt like everything I knew was a sham. I know I know, I’m dramatic. I’ve already accepted it. But really, I was sort of appalled that I […]

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