National Coming Out DAy, Eh?

I heard it’s National Coming Out Day. For me, it’s less about my sexuality, more about how and who I am as a whole Person and Soul. And part of that comes out as a female in a romantic relationship with a non-binary person. To me, Coming Out is a daily thing, expanding beyond sexuality. […]

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Life Flow is Love – It’s Why Everything Is Always Working Out For You

My partner is not who I expected. My partner is not what I expected. My partner doesn’t look like anything I’d ever imagined I’d ever want. My partner doesn’t act like anything I’d ever expected for myself. My partner is so many things I just couldn’t have guessed. And so ironically, my partner is so […]

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Dodging Bullets of Triggers

The other day, I had an experience that took me straight back to my teenage years. No detours, no scenic route, no smell-the-roses pathway. Straight back to a part of what I would consider my hellhole-of-a-time teenage years. It was triggered by Soul, my partner, and Stef, my best friend, becoming close. Stef, if you’re […]

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Lean Into the Thing that Brings Out Your Worst

The beautiful thing about romantic relationships is there is nowhere to hide. Actually, that sounds like the scary thing about relationships lol. Here’s what’s actually beautiful about it. Shit gets real when there’s nowhere to hide. That sounds scary too lol. Basically, the rawness of who you are and where you are at in life […]

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Walking in Faith is Not for the Faint-Hearted

To walk in faith is to walk in love. It’s to walk in trust. It’s to walk in the unknown. It’s to walk in the unknown… knowing. That’s the kicker. Walking in faith is seeing NOTHING that even minutely, to ANY degree resembles the end destination, the life we desire, the person we hope to […]

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Love, a horrible thing

Love is a scary thing. Don’t do it. The risk is too big. The fall too hard. Love is a horrible thing. It makes you do weird things. Crazy things. Stupid things. It makes you become someone new. You stop knowing who you are. Sometimes people don’t recognize you anymore. Love is a terrible thing. […]

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Blooming remains

Five years ago, I was out in Barcelona studying abroad and sending photos of my experiences and adventures to my ex. I prefaced my photos with: Sorry, I’m horrible at taking pictures. He immediately responded: You are brilliant and everything you do is fucking fantastic. I blushed at that, so aware of my melting heart, […]

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I told my mom I’m dating a non-male

Me: Mom, I have something to tell you. Mom: What? Silence Me: It’s kind of hard to say. Mom: What? Silence Mom: Just say it. Me: I know… but… Silence Me: I’m dating someone Silence Me: Not a man Mom: ? Me: I’m dating that friend I brought over a couple months ago Silence Mom: […]

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Lessons

Last night around 9-10pm, I went to my car to get my green juice bottle to get it ready for the next day, my today. I saw a pair of sweats lying in front of my neighbor’s door. I debated whether I should knock on the door and let them know. Lazy me said nah. […]

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Eyes, soul, heart – 51/100

Her eyes, so piercing and inviting, soul, so wild and free heart, so open and willing. The depth both scares and draws, like a moth to flame dancing to possible death There’s nothing to do but leap, jump that cliff, challenge gravity, defy the emptiness of failed connections. Thoughts, feelings, decisions feel seemingly recklessness until […]

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Past flame – 47/100

I dated someone I met in New York last October up until mid-March. We had cool vibes and a sweet connection going on. But it didn’t work. We could say it’s the distance. Or the time difference. Or whatever. But it didn’t work. Looking back now, it was very clear that we weren’t going to […]

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Kissing – 41/100

I shared a couple weeks ago that I’m exploring something very close to me, something I never thought was something to even wonder about or question: my sexuality. Since then, it’s been a very interesting ride of putting language to my feelings and experiences. Sometimes, I’m at a loss of words and I need to […]

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Too different, a little wild, then and now – 39/100

A guy once said he wouldn’t date me because I was too different, a little wild. At the time, I was offended because I really really liked him – a lot. Like a lot lot. I could not understand what he saw, why he didn’t see what I saw, or wanted to see. That we’d […]

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What my Lyft driver taught me about my parents

My Lyft driver from LAX to home was a middle-aged Korean man. I knew he was Korean because of the name displayed in the app but I still cautiously asked what his nationality was – in English at first. In his second language, he said Yes and fell into awkward silence. Middle-aged Korean men don’t […]

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I answered a dating/relationship questionnaire – 91/100

A good friend I met in July – holla at Beth Derrick!! – recently asked her Facebook family for their thoughts and experience in dating/relationships. I wrote out my answers not realizing the entirety of it would be posted on her blog. Which meant I wrote as if only Beth was going to see it. […]

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Why vulnerability is so expensive and worth it – 64/100

Sometimes male-female relationships are difficult. But they don’t have to be. They can be difficult in the beginning when feeling out the other person, trying to understand the differences, understand that there are differences, and adjust, if you deem it worth it. I find that the hardest thing to do is be vulnerable. And I think […]

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My massive crush – 46/100

I have a massive crush on someone. I’m sharing with the Facebook and WordPress worlds because he doesn’t exist in either of them. Thank God, right? I can spill my thoughts without worrying about him stumbling on them. Or maybe I want him to find them. But only when I’m ready. I have categorized this […]

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28 quotes that dominate my 28-year-old self today – 31/100

Today’s the day. As much as I downplay this day, planning to treat it like a normal day with work, my morning routine, etc., I also can’t help feeling a little more energized, a little more excited for today. Hahah. Nothing on my schedule looks like a celebration, but still. And then I think about […]

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An epiphany on love and myself (but more about myself) – 27/100

Feelings are such interesting things. They have lives of their own, it seems like. Especially when it comes to the romantic, chemistry kind. It’s interesting to me that I go on dates, actively putting myself out there for the purpose of meeting someone who might intrigue and attract me, and yet, I find that I […]

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Let me know if you’re looking for one – 6/100

After my swim two days ago, one of the Korean ladies that I sort of became friends with at Gold’s Gym asked from the lane next to me, “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Haha no, I don’t.” – I could already tell what was coming and I was getting ready to say, Let me live!!!!! Hahaha […]

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My First Adult Heartbreak pt. 2 of 2 – 5/100

I’ve never really done a two-part post before. I started out with a thought that later became too long for one post. The first part is my defining my First Adult Heartbreak (FAH), creating context around what happened and then, the process of recovering and finding myself again. The second part is more of how I look […]

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My First Adult Heartbreak pt. 1 of 2

My first and only (thus far) adult heartbreak happened when I was 25/26. It happened with a guy I met on a dating app who happened to live 5 minutes from me. He had this bad boy streak about him, a mysterious dark vibe that indicated he’d been through some kind of hell and back. He once […]

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