Stories of life, love, freedom, and pursuit of the good
Love is a scary thing. Don’t do it. The risk is too big. The fall too hard. Love is a horrible thing. It makes you do weird things. Crazy things. Stupid things. It makes you become someone new. You stop knowing who you are. Sometimes people don’t recognize you anymore. Love is a terrible thing. […]
Read MoreFive years ago, I was out in Barcelona studying abroad and sending photos of my experiences and adventures to my ex. I prefaced my photos with: Sorry, I’m horrible at taking pictures. He immediately responded: You are brilliant and everything you do is fucking fantastic. I blushed at that, so aware of my melting heart, […]
Read MoreMe: Mom, I have something to tell you. Mom: What? Silence Me: It’s kind of hard to say. Mom: What? Silence Mom: Just say it. Me: I know… but… Silence Me: I’m dating someone Silence Me: Not a man Mom: ? Me: I’m dating that friend I brought over a couple months ago Silence Mom: […]
Read MoreLast night around 9-10pm, I went to my car to get my green juice bottle to get it ready for the next day, my today. I saw a pair of sweats lying in front of my neighbor’s door. I debated whether I should knock on the door and let them know. Lazy me said nah. […]
Read MoreHer eyes, so piercing and inviting, soul, so wild and free heart, so open and willing. The depth both scares and draws, like a moth to flame dancing to possible death There’s nothing to do but leap, jump that cliff, challenge gravity, defy the emptiness of failed connections. Thoughts, feelings, decisions feel seemingly recklessness until […]
Read MoreI dated someone I met in New York last October up until mid-March. We had cool vibes and a sweet connection going on. But it didn’t work. We could say it’s the distance. Or the time difference. Or whatever. But it didn’t work. Looking back now, it was very clear that we weren’t going to […]
Read MoreI shared a couple weeks ago that I’m exploring something very close to me, something I never thought was something to even wonder about or question: my sexuality. Since then, it’s been a very interesting ride of putting language to my feelings and experiences. Sometimes, I’m at a loss of words and I need to […]
Read MoreA guy once said he wouldn’t date me because I was too different, a little wild. At the time, I was offended because I really really liked him – a lot. Like a lot lot. I could not understand what he saw, why he didn’t see what I saw, or wanted to see. That we’d […]
Read MoreMy Lyft driver from LAX to home was a middle-aged Korean man. I knew he was Korean because of the name displayed in the app but I still cautiously asked what his nationality was – in English at first. In his second language, he said Yes and fell into awkward silence. Middle-aged Korean men don’t […]
Read MoreA good friend I met in July – holla at Beth Derrick!! – recently asked her Facebook family for their thoughts and experience in dating/relationships. I wrote out my answers not realizing the entirety of it would be posted on her blog. Which meant I wrote as if only Beth was going to see it. […]
Read MoreSometimes male-female relationships are difficult. But they don’t have to be. They can be difficult in the beginning when feeling out the other person, trying to understand the differences, understand that there are differences, and adjust, if you deem it worth it. I find that the hardest thing to do is be vulnerable. And I think […]
Read MoreI have a massive crush on someone. I’m sharing with the Facebook and WordPress worlds because he doesn’t exist in either of them. Thank God, right? I can spill my thoughts without worrying about him stumbling on them. Or maybe I want him to find them. But only when I’m ready. I have categorized this […]
Read MoreToday’s the day. As much as I downplay this day, planning to treat it like a normal day with work, my morning routine, etc., I also can’t help feeling a little more energized, a little more excited for today. Hahah. Nothing on my schedule looks like a celebration, but still. And then I think about […]
Read MoreFeelings are such interesting things. They have lives of their own, it seems like. Especially when it comes to the romantic, chemistry kind. It’s interesting to me that I go on dates, actively putting myself out there for the purpose of meeting someone who might intrigue and attract me, and yet, I find that I […]
Read MoreMy mom asked me a couple weeks ago if I ever thought of my FAH (first adult heartbreak). I thought a second and replied, No. That is one of the most refreshing and reflective moments I’ve had in a while. No. No, I’m not broken over the heartbreak. No, I’m not dwelling on the past. […]
Read MoreAfter my swim two days ago, one of the Korean ladies that I sort of became friends with at Gold’s Gym asked from the lane next to me, “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Haha no, I don’t.” – I could already tell what was coming and I was getting ready to say, Let me live!!!!! Hahaha […]
Read MoreI’ve never really done a two-part post before. I started out with a thought that later became too long for one post. The first part is my defining my First Adult Heartbreak (FAH), creating context around what happened and then, the process of recovering and finding myself again. The second part is more of how I look […]
Read MoreMy first and only (thus far) adult heartbreak happened when I was 25/26. It happened with a guy I met on a dating app who happened to live 5 minutes from me. He had this bad boy streak about him, a mysterious dark vibe that indicated he’d been through some kind of hell and back. He once […]
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